Um....

So I have the same problem - twenty five years this June with the same dude. And we're both still alive. Pretty impressive, I guess, even though I went through my share of frogs before I found my Prince.

However, that hasn't stopped me from getting inventive for this week's theme...

(Ahem)...

Give him a pain, Jane
Make a big scene, Jean
Knock him to the mat, Nat
Kiss another girl, Pearl
Blacken his eye, Ci
Push him out the gate, Kate
Shave both his legs, Meg
Lock him in the can, Ann
Abscond with his cash, Ash
Shove him in a pit, Kit
Fill his trousers with fleas, Reese
Hire a lawyer to sue, Rue
Run away with a cook, Brooke
Curl your lip and then hiss, Bliss
Laugh like hell at his bone, Joan
Kick him up the ass, Cass

...and set yourself free!!!

Keep goin' Hussies...I know I've missed some!!! And what better way to survive a Monday than playing along?

Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover

Well, color me not having a clue. Heck, I've been with the same man since before Disco.(Yes, I was merely a child) But since we Hussies agreed we'd try to go with a "theme of the week" and this is the first ... well, here goes.

I'd say that the best way to leave your lover is ... to walk out of the door, or if you want to keep the space, throw him out of the door. There, that was easy :)

But if it's a matter of transportation then I suggest a car, a bike, a plane or train.

If it's psychological motivation to get him on the move, then my best strategy would be: make him lie in the sun, run in the rain, eat bad cooking and suffer much pain.

No? Well, like I said, what the heck do I know, so maybe I'll fall back on the words of Paul Simon in his song titled 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.



I have to say that this would have been more accurately titled FIVE ways to leave your lover, because Mr. Simon only provided us with:

Just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

So, I decided to come up with a few more:

Push him out a tree, Bree
Chop off his organ, Morgan
Fake your own death, Beth
Drop an bowling ball on his dick, Chick
Cement him in a well, Mel
Bump him off a ridge, Midge
Set fire to his hair, Blair
Drown him off your yacht, Dot
Stab him with a stick, Nic
Feed him x-lax tea, Dee

And get yourself free

I invite you to add to the list. Who knows, maybe we CAN come up with 50 ways to leave your lover.

This is Ciana for the Hussies. Happy Sunday!

DIYD

Ever heard this one? It’s a cousin of Do It Yourself, except the last D stands for...

Disaster.

I bought a desk the other day. Nice enough, that desk. Steel tubes for legs, a nice and smooth slab of synthetic wood in a pale, glossy finish. It’s a cute desk, bought at Ikea, and that came in a flat box. Um, I thought, surprising given that the desk I’d seen on the display looked big enough to have nautical charts laid on top. That box, it couldn’t have been wider than 3 feet.

Oh well.

I wrestle it off the cart and into the car, out of the car and into the house, up the second floor, down the hall, in the office. By that time, that “little” box felts like a block from the damn pyramid. I’m sweaty, hungry, getting a tiny bit frustrated. Because I’m probably more man than I’m woman, I don’t read the instructions. No ma’am, no sir. I get a box cutter, open the box nice and neat. Inside are planks. Only planks. I search for tubular metal legs. No metal. Only planks. And a tiny Allen key.

Suspecting that I messed up, I get a tea and butter cookies, study the situation, come to the conclusion that I forgot to buy the legs, which must have come separately.

I’m already regretting giving my desk to my friend, but I can’t very well break into her house, steal it back. She’d recognize it right away when she comes over. Unless I paint it... Nah, that wouldn’t be nice, would it? I mean, we’re friends, right. Right?

So out I go again, same circus, come back to the house with tubular legs that weigh a ton. Now my office is starting to look more like a bad reno job from hell more than anything else. I set to work. Half an hour later, I got sore fingers, no more cookies in the box and a mutant between a lawn chair and a book shelve. Nothing remotely looking like a desk.

My heart rate, it starts to climb. Where are my nunchaku when I need them?

I spend the afternoon trying to build that sucker. It thwarts my every attempt. It laughs at me, taunts me with its mismatched planks and its little fucking Allen key. Who came up with that hateful thing? The devil, that’s who. And the devil, he wears yellow and blue and works at Ikea.

Now you know what I’m going out for? Paint and a crowbar. I’m getting my old desk back, dammit.

Nat, the assembly-challenged Hussy.

How Do You Envision the Future?

The theories of relativity and quantized time have always fascinated me, not because I’m a science geek. Heaven knows I’m not. But, I’ve had moments where I’ve felt myself not just in the past, but in all my past lives at once. It’s really a deja vu moment and one of clarity. During these times I feel ancient.

No…beyond ancient.

It’s not a feeling I can adequately express, but it definitely was profound the very first time I had the experience and each time after. In the blink of an eye, I saw all my lifetimes as though reflections in long narrow mirrors in a row of infinity. It wasn’t the same me as I am now. I was all different shapes, sizes, races, ages, and while mostly female, a few were male.

So what does that have to do with erotic romance? Everything. At least for me it does because I typically incorporate my experiences into my books. Fragments, incidences, emotions. Whatever snippets might add a tinge of the paranormal and hopefully lend a sense of authenticity, however faint that might be. (g)

And, in my latest book that releases today with Ellora’s Cave, I take you on a ride into the future - 2833 AD - to be precise, where all the men are dead. GASP! What was I thinking? Doomsday, baby, of course. (g)

Think about it. How long would it take the human race to become extinct if there were no more men in the world? How long would the sperm bank supplies last and who would take control of them? Who would decide who got the opportunity to have a child? And because no male children could be reproduced due to a virus (result of a cataclysmic event) that attacks only males, what could the female society do to resolve this crisis?

Now, step beyond the obvious of "Oh God, we're going to become extinct" into the practical day to day existence of no males. What would women do for male lovers?

Enter Dr. Randi Mayers, leading sex replacement designer. What exactly is her job description? To design sex toys for women!


Not a bad job to have. Think of the heroine status you'd receive being the number one sex toy designer in a world where there are no men. And after doing this for several years, it is only a logical step that robotic men begin to fit into the equation of women without real men. Sniff, poor females! And then the dangerous notion that it might be possible to actually create a real man with a little help from technology begins to formulate.

But everything is not as it appears in this futuristic society. The Anti-Male faction is in control of the world government and the Pro-Male movement is working in secrecy to re-create not just robots, but real human males. So far, no successes.

But Randi belives she can do this. At least she can create a cyborg male and she hopes this latest secret design, William, is the one! This model will give women a programmable companion, via advanced nanite technology incorporated with DNA, supplied by her new employer, Sexed Up.

She’s pleased when her new boss asks her to push the envelope past legal restrictions to create a cyborg male. The company's plan is to saturate the market before the government has time to realize what's happening. By the time the world government can react, it’ll be too late.

Of course, things heat up the moment Randi accidentally activates William, who turns out to be a determined and very dedicated lover.

But these two love birds are not going to have an easy time of it. Industrial espionage sets them on a collision course with the Anti-Male faction. And now Randi must try to save her creation. And William has fallen in love with her, but the first thing he has to do is convince Randi he’s not a machine and they have a future together.

You can read an excerpt here. I hope you enjoy this book.

Gettin' Naughty - Taking Control

Have you ever taken a dominant role in the bedroom? Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about taking things to extremes or becoming a FemDom. There's no need to run out and buy a vinyl cat suit, whips or floggers--unless you want to.

What I'm talking about is once in a while taking control in the bedroom and letting your man enjoy. You know how wonderful it is to let him be in charge and not worry about anything but reaching that prized precipice. Well, don't you think he'd enjoy the luxury of once in a while being able to just relax and let you run the show. Shake off those common misconceptions that men want sex more and should be responsible for everything in the bedroom.

Consider how you feel when he gets all caveman and primal once in a while. Doesn't it make you feel sexy and desirable when he acts commanding? Well, turn the tables on him. Get aggressive and see how he responds. Most likely, he's going to love it if you let your carnal side show and let him feel your intense longing for him.

Why not become the lover he's dreamed of? It's not that complicated to do, and he will love every second, which will result in high returns on your investment!

You don't have to try and be something you're not or take things to the extreme and get all tied up in knots, literally. Find something you can do which will have him looking at you as if you are filet mignon on Superbowl Sunday and is team is winning, whether it be sinful lingerie, performing a seductive strip tease or dressing in costume for some role-play fun. You know what gets him hot--now use it!

Be bold and initiate sex then tell him you want to focus on his pleasure and needs. As long as he's not one of those totally dominant alphas, he's going to love the idea. What man wouldn't love having his partner focused on his pleasures?

Men love women who are not afraid to try new things and experiment. Sit down and consider the books you've read and things you might be willing to try. Give him a chance to express what he'd like to try too. Get out of the same old rut and allow yourself to be erotic. If you just can't get your body into that crazy contortionist position, don't be embarrassed, laugh about it and try something else. Your willingness to experiment will rev up his desire.

Remember that it's about him so don't focus on finding your own release. If you're not up to the more aggressive approach, that's okay. Work up to it nice and slow. Perhaps start by giving him a massage or a bit of pampering. If you've been with him for some time, you should know what he likes. Rub him down with some massage oil or use your lips to get those nerve endings buzzing. Compliment his assets such as his butt, which so nicely fills out his jeans or whatever it is about him that turns you on.

Relationships take work and in the bedroom is not the place to just sit back and not do your share of keeping the lust stoked. Drag him off to bed, show him your baser, less civilized side. Let him see and feel your desire for him and the rewards will be a boost in your love life.

Nic
So Naughty it's Scandalous!

Book Talk

It's another great weeks for new books from Ellora's Cave Publishing! Especially since, for a second week in a row one of The Hussies has a book coming out. Woot! That's right, Sally's book, Sexed Up, will be available on Friday. You can read a scorching hot excerpt by clicking here.

Holy hot covers! Ann Jacobs has been very blessed by the cover gods and goddesses with their most excellent artestry for her Heart of the West series. Wowza! Those are some gorgeous cowboys.

Releasing Wednesday:



Double Take, Tawny Taylor

Seduced by Magic, Stephanie Julian

Seeing Blind, Katie Allen

Hitched, Ann Jacobs

Releasing Friday:



Fancy Free, Shelley Munro

Cauldron of Keridwen, K.Z. Snow

Sexed Up, Sally Painter

Catch of the Day, Brigit Zahara

On behalf of all the Hussies, I'd like to extend a warm welcome to new to Ellora's authors Stephanie Julian, and Katie Allen.

Happy Reading!


Nic
So Naughty it's Scandalous!

Are you a hussy at heart, too?

What exactly do you think a hussy is? As you know we certainly don't think it is a derogatory term and have donned it was our mantle and so have many other hussies who have joined us on the chat list and other forums.

We've found a sisterhood with each of you and are enjoying sharing the transformation of our favorite word, Hussy!

A hussy originally was a a very respected word, which meant 'mistress of the household' or 'housewife' until the 1700s or so, when it meant a woman who was rather crude, rural and not very sophisticated. As the years progressed, the term regressed into a slur.

But back to housewife and how it became hussy. I mean why that word? In doing some research I discovered one possible reason - Hussy was the word for a sewing basket. Go figure.

Still, how does a word metamorphose into something else? I tend to forget that language is a living thing and it changes constantly. Typically reflected by slang, but it does. Words like cooperate and coordinate used to have hypens between them. Certain words used to be put together like alright for all right. So as we change so does our language and the definition of our words.

Still, I have to scratch my head and wonder how Hussy transformed from such a common respectable word to how my great great great grandmother reacted when yankee soldiers moving through her family farm during the civil war called her a hussy and she chased him through the front yard with a frying pan. Go grandma! Of course, she was a young woman at the time, so that is a scene I'll have to use someday when I write another historical. (g)

So here we are full circle, reclaiming the word and with your help transforming it into a modern term that means strong independent women who know what they want and aren't afraid to go after it.

What is your definition of hussy? What do you feel makes you or any other woman a true hussy?