“Not In this Lifetime!”
“Not only no, but hell no!”
“Whoa! Stop right there!”
“Unh-uh! No way!”
“Don’t even think about it!”
Sound familiar? We all have limits, lines we are not willing to cross, involving a variety of activities. When it comes to sex, it’s important that our partners know what those limits are before taking things to the bedroom. This is important in all relationships, but especially so if you're in a D/s relationships.
While it’s good to have limits and know what yours are, we should also never say never. IMHO, most things should be experienced before being crossed off your list, unless the activity is something that totally turns you off, is offensive, or you find it to be morally wrong.
Thinking about it is good, but how do you go about setting limits? I went searching the BDSM sites for some advice and here’s what I found. Sometimes you have to experiment to figure out what your limits truly are.
“Hard limits” are those activities you will not participate in under any circumstances, for whatever reason. These are non-negotiable and your partner should not nag or otherwise try to coerce you into them.
“Soft limits” are areas where there’s a bit of wiggle room. It may not be something you truly enjoy, but you don’t hate the activity either. This is an area where you make compromises with your partner and occasionally share in an activity for they enjoy. These are also things you’d consider exploring with your partner at the right time and when in the right frame of mind. Your list of soft limits should include activities you haven’t tried but have an interest or curiosity to investigate.
Just as we change over time, our tastes and limits change, so this is a subject you should revisit every once in a while. Take a long, hard look at your limits and decide if those things still matter or if there are new ones that should be added to your list.
Since we’re not sleeping together, I’ll spare you my list of sexual limits. Here are a few of my personal limits. I am not an adrenaline junkie. I’m more into the finer luxuries in life and don’t like “roughing it.”
No jumping out of perfectly good planes
No bouncing on bungee cords
No swimming in the ocean (sharks, sting rays, etc.)
No mountain climbing (hanging from a rope)
No reptiles as pets
No eating anything the words, “It tastes just like chicken,” can be said about
No camping (staying anywhere without room service or internet access)
Have you thought about your limits? If not, isn't it time you did?
“Not only no, but hell no!”
“Whoa! Stop right there!”
“Unh-uh! No way!”
“Don’t even think about it!”
Sound familiar? We all have limits, lines we are not willing to cross, involving a variety of activities. When it comes to sex, it’s important that our partners know what those limits are before taking things to the bedroom. This is important in all relationships, but especially so if you're in a D/s relationships.
While it’s good to have limits and know what yours are, we should also never say never. IMHO, most things should be experienced before being crossed off your list, unless the activity is something that totally turns you off, is offensive, or you find it to be morally wrong.
Thinking about it is good, but how do you go about setting limits? I went searching the BDSM sites for some advice and here’s what I found. Sometimes you have to experiment to figure out what your limits truly are.
“Hard limits” are those activities you will not participate in under any circumstances, for whatever reason. These are non-negotiable and your partner should not nag or otherwise try to coerce you into them.“Soft limits” are areas where there’s a bit of wiggle room. It may not be something you truly enjoy, but you don’t hate the activity either. This is an area where you make compromises with your partner and occasionally share in an activity for they enjoy. These are also things you’d consider exploring with your partner at the right time and when in the right frame of mind. Your list of soft limits should include activities you haven’t tried but have an interest or curiosity to investigate.
Just as we change over time, our tastes and limits change, so this is a subject you should revisit every once in a while. Take a long, hard look at your limits and decide if those things still matter or if there are new ones that should be added to your list.
Since we’re not sleeping together, I’ll spare you my list of sexual limits. Here are a few of my personal limits. I am not an adrenaline junkie. I’m more into the finer luxuries in life and don’t like “roughing it.”
No jumping out of perfectly good planes
No bouncing on bungee cords
No swimming in the ocean (sharks, sting rays, etc.)
No mountain climbing (hanging from a rope)
No reptiles as pets
No eating anything the words, “It tastes just like chicken,” can be said about
No camping (staying anywhere without room service or internet access)
Have you thought about your limits? If not, isn't it time you did?
