It's here. Winter, that is. And along with it, that first snowstorm, which is bad enough. When it happens on a Monday? Look out. Here's a few tips for surviving Mondays when you're up to your butt in the white stuff...
Ditch the designer boots. They're cute as hell, cost a fortune and they're going to die at the first sign of anything cold and wet. Sorry - this is a time for thick ugly clumpy footwear unless you go from a dry garage to another dry garage. (Lucky you.)
Don't shovel. Get someone else to do it for you. Stick ten dollars in your pocket, throw on some makeup and stand on your front doorstep looking adorably helpless. The ten bucks is for the first kid who goes past and catches your eye.
If you have to shovel, remember not to shovel into the wind. Blowback's a bitch and - if it's really windy - it hurts!
Use moisturizer - lavishly. This isn't a time for a delicate touch - this is a time to yank out the facial equivalent of WD-40 lubricant and smear it thickly over your face. Winter air can be even more damaging than the summer sun - especially when sunshine is reflected off that white stuff. (Goes double for you skiers!!!)
You've listened to the weather reports, so you have bread, milk and toilet paper. Hopefully you also got something useful like a book, chocolates and plenty of cocoa. Remember that snow turns ordinary drivers into Nascar finalists and there's likely to be "trouble in turn two" - which is in front of your house this morning not in Daytona. Be PATIENT when you're behind the wheel! It'll all melt in the spring!
If none of these things work, consider becoming a "snow bird" and heading south to warmer climes. Just remember there's always someone worse off...as this video demonstrates quite clearly!!! Stay warm and keep smiling....
