Fire!

Anyone have some matches? I need to send up a smoke signal!

Book Talk

Whew, the books look hotter and hotter each week. I don't know about anyone else, but I stalk the coming soon pages and drool over the covers.

It's important to keep a close watch on which of your favorite authors have books coming out so you don't miss them. There are authors whose books I buy without ever reading the blurb. A cover with their names on it is an automatic buy for me. Of course, I am a book hussy. LOL! What? Aren't we all?

Here are the fabulous books releasing from Ellora's Cave Publishing this week.

Releasing Wednesday:



Tortured Souls - Carol Lynne (Contemporary / Gay)

Shades of Gray - Amarinda Jones (Vampire)

Destiny's Touch - Mackenzie McKade (Paranormal)

Amatista - Red Garnier (Fantasy)

I must have been a good girl at some point because I got to read Destiny's Touch early. Woot! Thanks again, Mac! This is one heck of a hot story with a really cool paranormal twist.

Releasing Friday:



Illicit Affair - Elyssa Lynne (Futuristic)

Mating Stone - Elyssa Edwards (Shapeshifter)

Quivering Thighs - Ashlyn Chase (Romantic Suspense)

Premonition - Lynn LaFleur (Contemporary)

Informed shoppers are happy shoppers. Check out those blurbs and excerpts. It may be cliche, but never judge a book by its cover, no matter how fabulous a job the cover artists have done.

Happy Reading!

Nic
So Naughty It's Scandalous

Book Talk

I have come to the conclusion that I am a book hussy. Yup, you heard it here first. I, Nicole Austin, have a disease. I must have all the new releases, whether I actually have time to read them or not. My justification, if I don't buy them right away, I might forget and miss out on a awesome read. *sigh*

I've reached this conculssion because of my massive to-be-read stack. Currently, I have more than 250 e-books awaiting my attention. I kid you not. And that's not even going into the stacks of print books. As adictions go, this one is pretty good, IMHO.

What can I say, resistance is futile. I must have ALL the books! They will be mine! This week's releases from Ellora's Cave Publishing are no exception. Check them out and join me in setting your inner book hussy free.

Releasing Wednesday:



Honeysuckle - Anny Cook (Fantasy / Menage)

Stone and Earth - Cindy Spencer Pape (Shapeshifter)

Seven Minutes to Heaven - Lena Matthews (Contemporary)

Mystic Circle - Bronwyn Green (Paranormal)

Releasing Friday:



Rules of Engagement - Ann Bruce (Contemporary)

Amethyst Tryst - Alexis Canto (Paranormal)

Exotika: Journey to the Pearl - Desiree Holt (Erotica)

Sins of the Knight - Dawn Halliday (Medieval Historical)

The Hussies would like to give a warm welcome to new to Ellora's author Alexis Canto. We wish you all the best!

Quick, get them all right away while they're still hot off the presses. Hurry, before someone else gets them. Hold on to them tight and devour the books!

Happy reading!
Nic
So Naughty It's Scandalous

Book Talk

It's another special week here on Book Talk. One of our very own hussies, Sally Painter, has a book coming out on Friday. Woot! Divided Love is part of the Torrid Tarot series. Congrats, my hussy sista.I can't wait to get my hot little hands on it!

Let's all give a shout out to the wonderful creative talent of those fine folks in the EC Art Department. Y'all do an amazing job of making our books shine! I'm totally digging the edginess of the cover for Skin!

Without further delay, here are the eight books releasing from Ellora's Cave Publishing this week.


Releasing Wednesday:



God Style Temptation by Taige Crenshaw

Sins of Adaven by Ruth D. Kerce

Quest Into The Forbidden by Vanessa N. Gilfoy

Call of Temptation by Michelle M. Pillow

Releasing Friday:



Ensnared by Innocence by Larissa Lyons

Seeds of Garnet by Elaine Lowe

Divided Love by Sally Painter

Skin by Bernadette Gardner

Time to do your part for literacy and hit the EC website! Go forth and shop.

Happy Reading!

Nic
So Naughty it's Scandalous

Gettin' Naughty -- Man's Other Best Friend

How much do you know about man's other best friend, the penis? I can hear the moaning, "She did not just ask that." Don't y'all know me better than that yet? Sheesh! Never can tell what socially unacceptable topic I'll bring up next. It's my goal to keep you guessing. How am I doing so far? *g*

There are many names and slang terms to describe a penis. Some of the most common include: cock, bone, boner, dick, hard-on, Johnson, lance, manhood, meet, member, Mr. Happy, one-eyed snake, organ, pecker, phallus, pocket rocket, pole, prick, rod, shaft, tool, wood. The list goes on and on.

From the Online Etymology Dictionary:
The word penis originates from 1676, perhaps from Fr. pénis or directly from L. penis "penis," earlier "tail", from PIE *pes-/*pesos- "penis". The proper plural is penes. The adj. is penial. In psychological writing, penis envy is attested from 1924.

According to Holisticwisdom.com:
~ Average length of the flaccid penis - 3.5 inches
~ Average length when erect - 5.2 to 6.4 inches (Yes, erotic romance heroes are above average)
~ Average girth when erect - 5 inch circumfrence or 1.6 inches in diameter
~ Longest recorded penis - 13 inches (Ouch!)
~ Smallest recorded penis - 5/8 of an inch (Sorry, dude!)
~ Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime - 7,200
~ Average speed of ejaculate - 28 mph
~ Average calories per teaspoon in semen - 5 to 7
~ Average amount of semen per ejaculation - 1 to 2 teaspoons
~ Semen is slightly alkaline, Ph 7.2
~ Amount of recovery time to regain erection ranges from 2 minutes to 2 weeks
~ Average number of erections per day - 11
~ Average number of erections per night - 9
~ Odors that increase blood flow to the peins include: lavender, licorice, chocolate, donuts and pumpkin pie
~ Men who admit to masturbating - 60% *arching eyebrow* Doesn't that number seem low?

What exactly is in semen? Only about 1% is sperm, the rest is made up of:
Fructose sugar
Water
Ascorbic acid (Vitamin C)
Citric acid
Enzymes
Protein
Phosphate and bicarbonate buffers
Zinc

Miscellaneous:
~ It takes 116 muscles to climax. In comparison it only takes 17 to smile
~ In women, sex produces estrogen, which makes hair shine and keeps skin smooth

According to Glamour magazine:
~ There is no link between his shoe size and the length of his penis
~Yes, it shrinks when it gets cold
~ If his ring finger is longer than his middle finger, he may produce more testosterone and therefore have a great sexual appetite

Size does matter...to him. Whether he admits it or not, his penis is one of the most important things in his world. He discovered and became fascinated with this organ and began comparing it to others early in life. He's very sensitive on the subject so use care with your words and never joke about his size. Doesn't seem to matter to him that the average length of a vagina is only 3 to 4 inches, stretching to accomidate those above average specimins. Measuring up is important to him.

Here's a fact that will help you, ladies. Having an orgasm relieves menstral cramps. It's true. The vigorous muscle contractions move blood and other fluids away from congested organs. Orgasms also release endorphins which relieve pain so claiming a headache is a poor excuse for getting out of having sex. Quite the opposite, having PMS or a headache is a great reason to indulge.

Gettin' Naughty - Virtual Love

Most everyone has Internet access and an email address, if not at home then at least through an employer. Many spend a great deal of time online for work, entertainment and even to connect with friends and family. Then there’s the group of us for whom the web is our world. Heck, my laptop is like an extra appendage permanently attached to my body.

We spend a lot of time online, practically live our lives on the net, so what about finding love online? Internet dating?

The bar scene has never been a great place to connect with someone, but where else is there to look? Fishing from the company dock can make the work place a very uncomfortable environment if things don’t go well. You can only hang out at the local coffee shop for so long before getting caffeine jitters. Where do you go to meet people with similar interests?

The Internet? You don’t have to leave home or step outside your comfort zone. You can get to know someone through email, live chats, even have a virtual date if you have a webcam. If something goes wrong all you have to do is sever an electronic connection. Seems…easy, safe, convenient. Here are a few things to keep in mind if you’re either considering or currently participating in an online hookup.

Virtual online dating is vastly different from real time dating. The online environment is restrictive. A great deal of a message can be lost without being able to observe non-verbal language—expression, gestures and other physical cues, along with tone of voice and inflection. Careless wording can cause hurt or offense. Unless you have a webcam and microphone, you must rely on written communications alone, which is problematic. Sarcasm must be spelled out clearly. Unless someone is exceptionally skilled in non-verbal communications there are liable to be misunderstandings and you’re not going to get a true impression of what someone is really like.

The Internet also comes with it own lingo and rules. Emoticons such as :-) and are used to express emotion and common phrases are abbreviated. There are hundreds of shorthand message you must decode. The rules and protocols are different too, such as typing in all caps is yelling. Learn the rules of the road before trying to hookup.

A few examples:

CSL – Can’t Stop Laughing
FWB – Friends With Benefits
MIRL – Meet In Real Life
SNAG – Sensitive New Age Guy
SWM – Single White Male

Links to decoding text abbreviations:

Netlingo
Techdictionary
Webopedia

Finding someone who is available and interested in more than casual cybersex can be challenging. Cybersex hounds are attracted to the anonymity of the Internet, where you can act rudely without serious repercussions. And how do you determine if you are falling for an online fantasy persona or a real person? While you may feel a bond with someone online you may feel very different when interacting fact to face.

Another complication is that online dating is often used as an escape from reality into fantasy. Online, we are who we say we are and who we want to be. We may not be honest about our appearance or other important factors to be more attractive. The temptation to misrepresent ourselves is huge. Be careful of players. Not everyone is honest and decent. Pay attention to inconsistencies.

There is also a tendency for rapid advancement from attraction to intimacy, while skipping essential dating stages along the way. You don’t discover the little endearing or annoying personality traits. This means you may develop a serious emotional attachment to a person you can’t stand to be around in real life. You should consider online relationships to be incomplete until meeting offline. Human interactions are based on real world situations and reactions. It’s impossible to experience the entirety of another individual through a virtual connection. The potential for extreme disappointment and heartbreak are great.

Don’t give up all hope. Successful relationships can begin as online romances. I know several couples in committed, happy relationships that began in cyberspace. Once the potential for a relationship is established online it’s time see if your connection can survive the real world. This poses another complication—safety.

There are certain precautions you must observe when meeting face to face. First and for most, be safe and cautions. You may feel like you know and can trust this person, wrong! You don’t really know them and could be risking you life by going in with blinders on. Plan ahead! This goes for the guys too. You may be a prime alpha capable of taking care of yourself, but remember the movie Fatal Attraction.

Important safety rules for online dating and real time meetings:

Do not divulge your address, place of work, phone number or social security number or other identifying information

Trust your gut instincts. If you feel uncomfortable don’t go

Meet on neutral ground in a public place with other people around (Do not go to their home or hotel room) and do get in their car to go somewhere else

Do not drink alcohol. Your judgment needs to be unimpaired

Make sure someone has the details of where you are going and when to expect your return

Do not leave your purse at the table if you step away (Your drivers license provides too much personal information)

Consider bringing a friend along. They don’t have to be within hearing distance, but should be within sight

Set up a lifeline (Make arrangements with a trusted friend for check-in phone calls at pre-arranged times, such as once an hour. This person should know the location of the meeting)

Establish a private code phrases to let verify things are going well or that something has gone wrong and they should call the police

Your last safe call should be for after you’ve made it home okay

If he/she objects to any of these precautions, Do Not trust this person

Meeting someone online can be a wonderful experience or lead to misery. With instant access to a vast and diverse population there’s a chance you could find the love of your life if you practice common sense, patience, proceed with caution, and follow safety rules.

Gettin' Naughty - Holiday Stress / Humor

The holidays have arrived, and as the song assures, “Its The Most Wonderful Time of The Year.” While I’m not too sure about the validity of that statement, I hope you enjoy my ramblings on the subject.

Thanks Giving Day: Today we have the pleasure of slaving all day in the kitchen for a bunch of ungrateful relatives you may not particularly care to dine with. In a matter of minutes, they will devour what took you days of planning and cooking. Then everyone collapses before your T.V. in a tryptophan overdose coma. Happy Thanksgiving!

Black Friday: If you like to get deals on the gifts you purchase for Christmas, you’ll wake up tomorrow before the butt-crack of dawn, and hit the stores with about a million determined shoppers willing to trample you in order to get one of those limited quantity must haves. Should you fail, no worries, it only means the kids will be disappointed and not talk to you for a good month or so. Hmm…that might actually be a plus. LOL! Welcome to the nightmare that is Black Friday.

Good times! Having fun yet? Hey, we’ve only just begun.

Christmas: There are a million and one parties and gatherings you will be expected to attend over the next month. Ah, if only it were that simple. Not only must you attend, but you have to find the perfect outfit for each event, shop for hostess gifts, and somehow manage to fit the events into your already jam-packed schedule.

In between all these lovely gatherings you have to decorate the house, and send out so many Christmas cards your taste buds will get cemented together from licking all those icky envelopes. Add in the extra challenge of the kids being out of school for two weeks. Gee, guess what? You have to find a way to entertain them. Either that or deal with the constant chorus of, “I’m Bored,” played in a voice guaranteed to grate on your last nerve.

You’ll also have to go out and get a tree, wrap all the loot you scored during the shopping marathon, and be prepared with extra gifts for those surprise holiday visitors. You know those devious people have planned way in advance who they will surprise this year. Oh, and don’t forget who celebrates which holiday—Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza…

Political Correctness: Then there’s the whole politically correct new fangled ways we are supposed to greet people over the holidays. Don’t get caught saying, “Merry Christmas!” *gasp* Doesn’t matter that we have freedom of speech and religion, this is a no-no.

One of the biggest problems with trying to be PC is the rules change all the time. I recently heard a report that Santas' in Australia are being told not to say, “Ho, Ho, Ho!” Huh? Some silly person is going to get offended and think Santa just called them a whore? No way!

Seems to me that we’ve taken the intended spirit of the whole thing right out of the celebrations. Oy vey! Next well be rewriting all the Mother Goose nursery rhymes. Hey, trust me on this one. It's bound to happen. How long has it been since you read them? Mother Goose was a violent, racist, sexist old broad!

*Sigh* I’ve digressed. Okay, wonderful holiday time. I’ll try to get back on track.

When Its Over: Just when it’s all over, you’re still not done. You’ve attended the last event, packed up all the decorations for next year, tossed the dead tree carcass to the curb, vacuumed up all the pine needles, exchanged or returned all the unwanted gifts and so on—what’s next? Eleven moths of struggling to pay of this year’s holiday season before the next one is upon us and the insanity starts all over again.

Wait! This was supposed to be not only great, but the most wonderful time of my year, right? *scratching head* When does it get good? Or was the enjoyment ever there to begin with? Sheesh, I just don’t know. As far back as I can remember the holidays stressed out my parents so it may never have been good for anyone except the kids.

I think next year I’ll disappear for the entire shebang. Go be a reclusive author and hide out in a cabin somewhere in the mountains with a sign on the gate reading, “Visitors Will Be Shot!” *evil grin*

I’m not being very politically correct again, am I? Taking a few deep breaths, indulging in some chocolate and trying to enjoy this whole holiday madness. Perhaps a few margaritas would make a difference.

I found the slice of humor below in my web surfing and have included it in the hopes that you’ll chuckle a bit at my attempt to lighten the stress by poking fun. Our holiday greetings are likely to become this way if we keep up with all this PC stuff!

*The following is PC speak for "We wish you a Merry Christmas,"

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all...

*And what follows here is PC speak for "and a Happy New Year!"

...and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great,(not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

Legal Disclaimer: By accepting this agreement, you are accepting these terms.

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of goodtidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Sincerely, (Name withheld for legal, social and cultural considerations.)

ROFL! I love it. Hold onto your sense of humor and you there's the chance you'll survive the 2007 holidays.

Gettin' Naughty - Going To Extremes

How far are you willing to go in the name of beauty? Injections, unapproved drugs, laser treatments, surgery?

You may want to try one of the latest beauty crazes like anal bleaching. Yes, it’s true. Women are having treatments and using creams to lighten the color of the skin around their anus. Hey, if you’re willing to go that far, might as well go for the gusto and have vaginal rejuvenation so you can feel like a virgin. Trim those too big labia, unhood your clitoris, tighten the vaginal walls or give him the gift of popping your cherry by having your hymen restored. No need to do those pesky Kegel exercises. Just go under the laser or take a handy dandy pill.

Those of you who know me can vividly picture my eyes rolling back and my head shaking in disgust. I can maybe see having these procedures done if you’re a highly paid porn star and an in-your-face video of you will be airing on the big screen. Or if the procedures are deemed medically necessary for a true medical problem. But for cosmetic reasons…no way! Even forgetting the cost, think of the potential complications such as infection, decreased sensation, pain and scarring.

IMHO, many women go too far in their attempts to achieve perfection. The standards of beauty have shifted to unattainable extremes. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. What is pleasing to one person may be repulsive to another. Let’s be real—if we all achieved the current ideals of perfection what would be the point? We would all look exactly the same, and where is the beauty in that? Boredom would be the result, sparking a whole new ideal requiring a new battery of procedures to reach.

Twenty years ago the goal for women was to be a size 8 or 10. Today, many strive for the anorexic look of ultra-thin runway models who wear a size 0. The ultimate—tall, young and emaciated. Young women are getting the message. They are starving themselves and spending grueling hours every day with personal trainers to reach unhealthy proportions. Even the most beautiful models require hours of work in the makeup artist’s chair and still their photos have to be computer-enhanced. Movies, magazines, billboards and television bombard us with unrealistic images of beauty which can make even the most confident of women question their appearance. The result is an obsessive quest to achieve the impossible.

Don’t get me wrong—wanting to look your personal best is not a bad thing. Notice I said, your personal best, not what society deems as the current standards of beauty. Let’s face reality. Not everyone can be a size 10, and very few can survive as a size 0. Think about the people you feel are beautiful and what qualities they possess that make you feel this way about them. Is it their perfect body or loving heart? Their surgically perfected face or their unique spirit?

Real beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. It comes from within. One of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met was when I worked at a trauma hospital. This 72 year-old homeless patient had tough, spotty, wrinkly skin along with baggy, saggy body parts, yet she radiated with beauty. No matter how little she had, this woman would give her last morsel of food or warmest piece of clothing to someone she felt needed it more than she did. No matter how depressing her circumstances, she greeted everyone with a dazzling smile and laughter sparkling in her eyes.

Do what you can to have a healthy, attractive vessel. Eat right, exercise, take care of yourself. Then if you really want to shine, fill that perfected vessel with a beautiful soul.

Gettin' Naughty - Taboos

What is Taboo?

Taboo—according to dictionary.com—proscribed by society as improper or unacceptable. A prohibition or interdiction of anything; exclusion from use or practice. Exclusion from social relations; ostracism.

Taboo is a rather gray, blurry word, having different meanings for different people. The word taboo is often used to define sexual practices considered by society to be kinky, inappropriate or immoral. To some, their taboos are their boundaries, or the things they do not enjoy. Others define taboos to be things considered illegal.

Our taboos are often shaped by how we were first exposed to the subject in question. Was it through someone making fun of the subject in the locker room or maybe in teachings by elders that the subject was ugly, dirty or immoral? Personal sexual taboos can also be attributed to bad experiences in the past.

Our personal sexual taboos vary as much as our personalities. While some may consider anal or oral sex to be taboo, others may find those acts to be perfectly normal and pleasurable. Multiple partners, sex toys, fantasies and porn are among the sexual taboos I’ve seen listed online.

I used to consider anything outside of my own comfort zone to be taboo. Since I began reading and writing erotic romances, my list has dwindled as I’ve pushed my boundaries, both personal and as an author. Writing erotic scenes has forced me to think about my personal taboos and why they made the list. What I’ve discovered is that most of the things on my list fit into one of two categories—I’d been taught they were bad or I’d never experienced them. My new philosophy—if it feels good (and isn’t destructive or harmful to anyone) it is good.

According to a study conducted by researchers at San Diego State University, young women are tearing down sexual taboos. How? Teenagers are having more sex at a younger age and are less prudish than other generations. Feelings of sexual guilt have plummeted. The study attributes this change to the cultural/sexual revolution having altered American culture, and a shift in movies and television shows now tackling topics formerly considered taboo. Practices that used to be considered taboo are far more acceptable in today’s society.

The best way to become more open-minded and grow is to step outside of your comfort zone and give something different a try. How else can you be sure that you’re not missing out on an activity you may receive great pleasure from? Take things slow. Don’t try to throw out all your taboos at once. And don’t relegate something to a taboo after only giving it one attempt. You might not have been in the right frame of mind or have approached the activity informed and prepared. Do a bit of online research for tips and techniques.

Most important, as you play and try new things, do so safely and with a partner you trust.

Gettin' Naughty - Does Size Matter?

Now, get your minds out of the gutter, hussies. lol! I'm not talking about what you're thinking. And don't bother denying it, all of your minds went to the same place when you read the blog title.

What I'm referring to, this time, is rubenesque heroines.

Thankfully, no two women are the same. Well, unless we’re talking twins, but even identical twins who look the same are different in other ways, such as personality. I got to thinking after a discussion in my Yahoo group concerning the size of heroines in romance books. Several readers complained that while plus-size heroines exist, they are in the minority. Of course, this prompted some online research.

Different sources offer different results, but the average American woman seems to be 5’4” tall, weighs 140 pounds, wears size 14 clothes, has a 36C bust, and shoe size of 6.

I took a look around some of the most popular publisher’s websites and found that some do not even have a separate listing of books with full-figured heroines. For those that do have a category, there are not many books listed. Hmm…

Personally, during the course of my life, I have worn everything from a size 8 to 18 and all the numbers in between. Heck, I don’t fit into any of the averages above. At 5’10” tall with a shoe size of 10 I’m pretty far from average. I will never go below a size eight because I truly do have large hip bones and an 8 is the smallest size that will encompass them.

Many readers tend to put themselves in the heroine’s role when reading. I certainly do. If the writing is vivid, I often picture myself as the heroine and find it hard to relate to her experiences when she doesn’t come across as a real person. I have written heroines of various sizes and shapes. For me, it’s more about how the heroine acts and reacts to different situations than any physical traits of how she looks.

What about you? This is the part where you get to sound off and be heard. Do you prefer your heroines thin? Is it a more enjoyable experience to visualize yourself through a thin heroine as part of the fantasy? Would you like to see more big, beautiful women? Are authors just clueless as to what readers really want? Do you enjoy reading books where a plus-size heroine gets the hunk or have problems accepting that particular storyline?

Gettin' Naughty - Transforming The Bedroom Into A Love Nest

So we’ve discussed toys, role-playing, his hot spots and sexual confidence. Now its time to set the mood. Take a walk into the bedroom and have a look around. How does the room look and feel? Come up with one word to describe the ambiance.

What was your word? Sexy? Romantic? Intimate?

If not, then its time to do some redecorating! Your bedroom should be pleasing to the senses and have an intimate feel. Here are some ideas for transforming a drab, boring room into a sensual oasis.


The main focus of a bedroom is, of course, the bed. It should be comfortable and inviting. Consider getting new bedding, something luxurious. When thinking sheets, think high thread count. The higher the better. Get yourself a plush Vellux blanket. I love mine. The unique velvety texture feels incredible against bare skin. Make sure the pillows are comfy and clean. Pillows should be replaced every six months. Also, try adding some lush accent pillows in different shapes, sizes and textures.

Colors should be warm and sensual, from the walls to curtains and bedding to decorative accents. You may finally have to give up the lime green lava lamp for something a bit more practical and sexy.

Fragrances play a very powerful role in enhancing romance and sensuality so the bedroom should smell nice. Skip the overly heavy scents and go for light aromas provided by oil diffusers, candles or scented sachets. Occasionally bring in a vase of fresh, fragrant flowers. Cinnamon is an aphrodisiac. Vanilla is familiar, relaxing and welcoming. Peppermint oil is invigorating. Jasmine is sweet and soothing. Gardenia, sandalwood, rose also are sensually seductive scents.

Change the mood of the room by toning down the lighting. Swap out all those 100-watt white bulbs for a lower wattage or pink-toned variety. Set the tone with a small stereo and some sexy music that you both enjoy set to play softly in the background.

For a quick and inexpensive makeover, try a new throw on the bed with coordinating curtains and add a few sensual accent items like scented candles. You can make small changes to freshen things up as seasons change. If you can do so safely without burning the house down, try draping a colored scarf over the lampshade to create a more intimate feel.

Next, open up the nightstand drawer. What’s in there? A collection of miscellaneous junk that’s accumulated over time? It shouldn't be. Here are essentials that should be in your nightstand.
• Sex toys you both enjoy (and fresh batteries)
• A blindfold
• Erotic reading material (Try reading sexy scenes aloud to each other)
• Lube and massage oil (If using condoms choose water-based products)
• Other toys to suit your tastes (A feather, silk scarves, maybe a set of restraints—whatever turns you on.)

Oh, and one of the most important things. Get the TV out of the bedroom! When in the bedroom, you want his attention on you, not the game.

A few minor adjustments can turn a dull bedroom into a passionate retreat. The most important thing to remember is do what feels right. Go with the fabrics, textures, colors, sounds and scents that tune you in and turn you on.

Gettin' Naughty - Sexual Confidence

Following along with the theme Sahara and Mary have going, I decided to discuss sexual self-confidence this week. It’s during intimate moments when women feel the most vulnerable and unsure of themselves. Unfortunately, a lack of sexual self-confidence greatly affects achieving sexual satisfaction.

When a relationship reaches the point of becoming sexually intimate is not the time to start worrying about your body hang ups and desirability. If he wasn’t attracted to you and there was no chemistry, you wouldn’t have made it this far so forget about rejection or failure. Now you have to relax about your body and have fun. And let me tell you ladies, women who are secure in their prowess have one heck of a lot of fun!

When you have sexual self-confidence it’s easier to relax and fully enjoy the experience. Both your body and mind are active participants instead of letting your thoughts be distracted by perceived faults. Allowing your mind focus on pleasure is guaranteed to bring more of it your way, and most of us would love to have more pleasure in our sex lives.

By now you are probably wondering how long and what effort is required to shed those sexual insecurities. There is no magic spell to grant you sexual confidence, but the good news is its something you can give yourself. No waiting, you can have it right now since it’s a matter of changing how you think.

According to Dr. Phil in an article written for O Magazine, sexual confidence is not about having a great body. In fact, he says that older women are more sexually confident due to the benefit of experience. I really liked what Dr. Phil has to say about pleasure. “It's not selfish in a sexual situation to please yourself. Think about it—what greater gift could you give your partner than to have a really good time? If you're having fun, your partner is going to have fun. And that's not a license for selfishness; it's a recognition that you can't give away what you don't have yourself.”

Here’s an important thing to remember. Your sexual confidence cannot be given to you by a lover. The distraction of focusing too much on your lover can erode your confidence. Don’t let other people define your sense of self. Get to know your body and what trips your trigger. This will lead to more pleasure and confidence.

Sexual confidence is more about power generated by liking and accepting yourself than it is about sex. Here’s another great tip from Dr. Phil. “A woman who is open-minded, wants to have fun, and isn't counting on getting an engagement ring within minutes of meeting a man has an ease about her that translates as power. By contrast, one who looks like she's on the prowl for Mr. Right and is deafened by the ticking of her biological clock sends a totally different message. And as any guy will tell you, that message is: Run! But if you're comfortable and genuinely happy, others sense it and want it. Women who like where they are in their lives exude an assurance that makes for some very positive vibes in the bedroom.”

How do you get some of this elusive power for yourself? First, take a long, hard look at how you see yourself. Are you comfortable with your body? Feel good about yourself and your life? This is another instance where that self-defeating internal dialogue has to be altered. Changing your focus to positive and empowering thoughts will increase your self-assurance. Figure out how to accept yourself. Then take a look at your nonverbal language. What is your body saying about you? How do you walk into a room? Is your head held high and your posture good? Do you make eye contact? All of these factors affect vibes you’re putting out.

Experiment—get familiar and comfortable with your body and learn to shed those inhibitions. Buy some sexy lingerie that makes you feel good. You have to identify what you like and dislike, then express it. You have to be able to tell him what you need to feel good. Also, figure out what gets you in the mood. I recommend reading a hot and steamy book then just let go. You can’t be uptight and sexy at the same time—the two don’t go together.

Discover the sexual power of being a woman and enjoy it. Nothing will get him heated up more than your sexual confidence.

Check out this video, How to Get Sexual Confidence. Both the women say “like” way too much, but still manage to offer some good advice.

Gettin' Naughty - His Hot Spots

You man’s body has many hot spots guaranteed to make him moan and shiver when stimulated. Take the time and find his sexual trigger points and you’ll bring both of you to new heights of pleasure. Touching and teasing these supersensitive, nerve-rich areas in just the right way will turn him on, fire him up, and set him off with a powerful blast. Here’s a few feel good zones you may not be aware of but should be!

Neck – We all know the sides of the neck are sensitive, but a major hot spot for men is on the front of the neck at the thyroid gland (located just beneath the Adam’s apple). Have your lover lift his chin and start with the hollow at the base of his neck. Flatten your tongue out and lick upward until you reach his Adam’s apple, then dip down just beneath it. Massage this area with your tongue in wide circular motions. Be prepared for the resulting frenzied need this action will spark.

Fingers – Even if he works with his hands and has tough, calloused skin, the tender flesh between his fingers and on the pads is very sensitive. Suck a finger into your mouth, twirl your tongue around the digit, slide your lips up and down its length. Men are very visual creatures and he’ll get the added benefit of picturing receiving the same attention to his cock. This will quickly get him hard, ready and aching.

Lips – Kissing his lips may seem obvious, but an often overlooked trigger point is the outer curve of his lower lip where it meets his chin. Give this a try the next time you kiss him and send your lover strait into make-out bliss. Pull his lower lip into your mouth and hold it there with light suction. Now run the tip of your tongue up and down right beneath his lip. This move will send delicious electric currents straight to his cock.

Nipples – Some men love to have their nipples manipulated, while others are highly sensitive and can’t stand it. The only way to find out is through exploration. Start with soft strokes of fingertips. Try building the sensations slowly by swirling your tongue in a wide circle around his areola, decreasing the size of the circle gradually. When you reach the center, flick his nipple with your tongue then add a gentle nip with your teeth.

F-spot – The frenelum is a Y shaped elastic band of tissue under the glans of the penis. With your lover lying on his back and his erection rising over his abdomen, the Y will be inverted. It starts on the crown and extends down onto the shaft. Stimulate the f-spot by rapidly flicking the tip of your tongue against it and lick around the crown. Combine this with simultaneous stroking of his shaft and you’ll bring him to an explosive climax.

Perineum – Some men have hang-ups about their backdoor so don’t be offended if he doesn’t appreciate attention to this area. Massaging this shallow, nerve-rich grove located between his scrotum and anus will give him great enjoyment by providing external stimulation to his prostrate gland. Also simply applying steady pressure with your lips or tongue will bring him intense pleasure.

Testicles – The crease extending from top to bottom between his testicles is extraordinarily responsive. Cradle and massage his scrotum in one hand and run two fingers of the other up and down this wrinkle. The dual stimulation will rev his engine.

P-spot – Run a dampened finger or your tongue around the rim of his anus. It will be quickly obvious if he enjoys the stimulation and is receptive to more. If so, here’s how to locate his prostrate gland. With him lying on his back and your palm facing up, insert a well-lubricated finger into his rectum. Follow the upper margin of his canal until you locate the walnut-sized gland. Using a “come-hither” motion of the finger, stroke this amazing spot sure to trigger a powerful release.

Let your inner hussy out and keep your man happy by tripping his trigger. Take the bordeome out of the bedroom.