Sex Appeal and Bug Repellant ... what we do to look good

When it comes to trying to look good, we women have tried so many things that to list them would be a monumental task. We've wrapped, zapped, taped, plastered, painted, dyed, bleached, shaved, waxed, pinned, powered, squeezed, bound, plucked, heated, frozen, sweated, pushed, pulled, covered, concealed, enhanced, rearranged, restructured and resurfaced ourselves for centuries.

And when we run out of new ideas - like attaching electrodes to our face and zapping ourselves with electric current to get a firm youthful appearance, we fall back on ancient remedies - like nightingale poop facials or bull semen hair treatments.

We'll do anything and try anything to stay younger looking and more attractive. We spend billions of dollars a year on that quest. And where does it get us in the end? If we're lucky, older. Younger? I think not.

However, as a member of the "not a young chickadee" segment of the population, I can testify that there are things we can do that help us feel better about ourselves and look better when we do dare to take a look in that mirror. And for a lot of us, it's things that make us groan.

1. Exercise. Yes. Like it or not, exercise helps keep us looking better. Let's face it, toned muscles look a hell of a lot better than un-toned. Exercise helps you maintain better posture, stronger bones, more mobility and flexibility and strength. And practiced regularly will get you into those clinging knits with smoother lines than any body shaper undergarment. Plus, it is beneficial to your mental health. It helps reduce or manage stress and makes you feel more positive about yourself. And the better you feel about you, the more you'll project an air of self-confidence that equates in the male mind as sex appeal.

2. Proper diet: Okay, no one likes to starve and I'm not advocating that. But a good balanced diet - a healthy eating lifestyle - can help you not only feel better, but look better because you're putting the right nutrients into your system to support good skin and hair.

3. Attitude: If you think attitude isn't half the battle then think again. I've known a lot of women over the years who had sex appeal out the wazoo. And not because they were drop dead gorgeous. But they had an attitude that said "yeah, I AM that good" that drew men like a bear to honey.

4. Personality: Don't groan. We all know that old cliche - "she's got a GREAT personality" is the way we've all billed our girlfriends to potential dates. But personality counts. Some of the sexiest men I know are not classically handsome. But their personalities make them sizzling hot. The same is true for women. A woman who loves life, smiles likes it's her religion and has a positive, upbeat outlook will get a lot more than a drop-dead beautiful woman who bitches, moans and whines about life.

I like the poem the legendary beauty, Audrey Hepburn read to her children, which was written by the humorist Sam Levenson

For attractive lips,
Speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes,
Seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure,
Share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
Let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise,
Walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored,
renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed.
Never throw out anybody.
Remember: if you ever need a helping hand,
you’ll find One at the end of your arm.
As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands.
One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives and the passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.

And I love what she said in 1992 when she was asked if she had any personal beauty secrets besides Levinson's philosophical tips: "If I had them," she said, "I'd make a fortune. But I know what helps — health, lots of sleep, lots of fresh air, and a lot of help from Estee Lauder."

This is Ciana, for the Hussies, wishing you a beautiful day. And in the words of Helen Keller: The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart.

Gettin' Naughty - Going To Extremes

How far are you willing to go in the name of beauty? Injections, unapproved drugs, laser treatments, surgery?

You may want to try one of the latest beauty crazes like anal bleaching. Yes, it’s true. Women are having treatments and using creams to lighten the color of the skin around their anus. Hey, if you’re willing to go that far, might as well go for the gusto and have vaginal rejuvenation so you can feel like a virgin. Trim those too big labia, unhood your clitoris, tighten the vaginal walls or give him the gift of popping your cherry by having your hymen restored. No need to do those pesky Kegel exercises. Just go under the laser or take a handy dandy pill.

Those of you who know me can vividly picture my eyes rolling back and my head shaking in disgust. I can maybe see having these procedures done if you’re a highly paid porn star and an in-your-face video of you will be airing on the big screen. Or if the procedures are deemed medically necessary for a true medical problem. But for cosmetic reasons…no way! Even forgetting the cost, think of the potential complications such as infection, decreased sensation, pain and scarring.

IMHO, many women go too far in their attempts to achieve perfection. The standards of beauty have shifted to unattainable extremes. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. What is pleasing to one person may be repulsive to another. Let’s be real—if we all achieved the current ideals of perfection what would be the point? We would all look exactly the same, and where is the beauty in that? Boredom would be the result, sparking a whole new ideal requiring a new battery of procedures to reach.

Twenty years ago the goal for women was to be a size 8 or 10. Today, many strive for the anorexic look of ultra-thin runway models who wear a size 0. The ultimate—tall, young and emaciated. Young women are getting the message. They are starving themselves and spending grueling hours every day with personal trainers to reach unhealthy proportions. Even the most beautiful models require hours of work in the makeup artist’s chair and still their photos have to be computer-enhanced. Movies, magazines, billboards and television bombard us with unrealistic images of beauty which can make even the most confident of women question their appearance. The result is an obsessive quest to achieve the impossible.

Don’t get me wrong—wanting to look your personal best is not a bad thing. Notice I said, your personal best, not what society deems as the current standards of beauty. Let’s face reality. Not everyone can be a size 10, and very few can survive as a size 0. Think about the people you feel are beautiful and what qualities they possess that make you feel this way about them. Is it their perfect body or loving heart? Their surgically perfected face or their unique spirit?

Real beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. It comes from within. One of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met was when I worked at a trauma hospital. This 72 year-old homeless patient had tough, spotty, wrinkly skin along with baggy, saggy body parts, yet she radiated with beauty. No matter how little she had, this woman would give her last morsel of food or warmest piece of clothing to someone she felt needed it more than she did. No matter how depressing her circumstances, she greeted everyone with a dazzling smile and laughter sparkling in her eyes.

Do what you can to have a healthy, attractive vessel. Eat right, exercise, take care of yourself. Then if you really want to shine, fill that perfected vessel with a beautiful soul.