Getting’ Naughty – Watch Some Porn

As taboos go porn is still way up there on the list even though attitudes toward erotic visual arts are changing. Many women think of porn as something dirty for guys to keep hidden and watch by themselves. For just a moment set aside any objections, moral or otherwise, and look at it from a different perspective.

If you are here reading this blog then most likely you read erotic romance stories. Most female readers will tell you that they want the romance and happily ever after. Some may admit to enjoying the hot and explicit sex scenes. A few may even tell you that the books turn them on. As both a reader and writer, I can tell you that you are likely to learn a few new techniques and develop some new fantasies from the visuals created by the authors’ words.

Now think about those porn videos again. Are they that much different than the images running through your mind while reading? Some of the videos do have plot and even a bit of romance, regardless of the primary focus being on the sex. And oh my, the things you can learn by watching the pros at work!

Go ahead, find one of those videos your guy has stashed around the house and see what I’m talking about. If the over dramatic moaning turn you off then hit the mute button. Ah, that’s better, but it’s also one of the first lessons porn will teach you—enthusiasm.

A common theme you will see is that porn starlets abandon themselves to pleasure. They are uninhibited and willing to try anything once, twice if it’s good. And they let their partner know how good it is through both verbalization and movements. They take the initiative and let him know when he’s discovered one of those oh so sensitive spots. They also share what they desire in the heat of the moment without embarrassment.

Let’s face it, if you show no enthusiasm he’s going to get bored. He may even think you’re not enjoying yourself. Sex is natural and pleasurable. Enjoying it doesn’t make you a slut. Express yourself!

Now, turn the volume up and listen to the dirty talk. Something very important you can learn from watching porn is offering praise. Verbally stroking his ego is guaranteed to heat him up. If in the moment you can’t think of compliments just say what’s running through your mind. For example, if the way he’s stroking you feels good then say so. Ask him if he likes what you’re doing to him.

Another lesson you’ll learn is that porn starlets are not afraid to touch their bodies and they know how much men like to watch. There are many benefits to sharing a bit of self-stimulation with your partner. It can be a major turn on to watch as your partner masturbates. You will also be learning exactly how he likes to be touched while teaching him the same about you.

Men are visual creatures. We know this, now its time to do something about it. Look at what that porn babe is wearing before the clothes start getting peeled off. Yes, her 6” high acrylic heels look uncomfortable and impractical. So what! They are sexy as all get out and if you are wearing them to bed nobody is going to expect you to walk in them. While you are shopping consider picking up a few toys to enhance the fun, and buy some sexy lingerie that flatters your figure.

Finally, porn starlets don’t wait for a special occasion to focus on their guy’s pleasure. They don’t just take, they also give. He doesn’t get a blowjob as reward for having done the dishes either. And from the way the porn star worships her guy you’ll see she gets turned on by giving him something he likes. Whether it’s your favorite activity or not you can make it even better for him by giving it your all. Make eye contact. Use those new verbal skills. Let him know how important his pleasure is to you and how much it excites you.

If you feel self-conscious about watching a video with him then take the time to view a few by yourself first. You’ll quickly pick up on the common way the scenes progress. Then when you’re comfortable watch one with him. Tell him what actions turn you on, but also what turns you off. By discussing likes and dislikes you’ll discover a new level of intimacy, openness and trust in your relationship, as well as a whole lot more mutual pleasure.

Erotic ROMANCE defined by Melissa Lopez

Something caught my interest at the recent Romantic Times convention in Pittsburg. An NY editor (who shall remain nameless) didn’t have a firm grasp on what exactly erotic ROMANCE is. The terms erotica and erotic ROMANCE kept being interchanged from their lips.

Strange how even today, some have trouble defining erotic ROMANCE. Erotic ROMANCE is a heat level in which an author tells a happy-ever-after story.

First, the most important factor in erotic ROMANCE is a ROMANCE that has two basic plot elements:

1. A central LOVE story.

2. An emotionally, satisfying, and optimistic ending.

In other words, the main emotionally engaged characters (however many there may be or whatever they might be) must have a happy-ever-after or a happy-for-now ending.

On to the deciding factor that earns an erotic ROMANCE that smoking hot heat level.

There are a few heat levels in ROMANCE genres:

Sweet romance is a chaste romance story. There may be some romantic tension but the couples do not go beyond a kiss or two. This heat level is very popular in Young Adult and Inspirational genres.

Sensuous romance is comfortable in its sexuality and open to new experiences.

Spicy romance has an edge, takes risks, and can be a little naughtier.

Are you feeling the flame of the heat level going up?

Erotic ROMANCE contains long, hot, in your face, explicit love scenes.

Like with the chaste kiss in the sweet romances and the love scenes in the sensual and spicy tales…Erotic ROMANCE is not just a story where sex has been inserted. Nor is erotic ROMANCE a story containing a string of sex scenes. The love scenes, like the characters and drama, must drive the plot forward.

There’s room for different definitions of erotic ROMANCE and I don’t think anything is set in stone as to what it is and not. But erotic ROMANCE is explicit enough and hot enough to excite a reader. The erotic heat level is meant to arouse. The ROMANCE is meant to satisfy.

Melissa Lopez
www.melissa-lopez.com
JOURNEYS OF LOVE every woman needs to take.

Sex is Natural, Sex is Fun...

and sex has been getting writers into trouble for a very long time.

Did you know that 25-30 years ago, romance writers faced the exact same challenges and prejudices that erotic romance authors face today?

In 1988, Duke University Press published a book by Jan Cohn titled "Romance and the Erotics of Property: Mass-Market Fiction."
In this book, Ms. Cohn wrote that reading romance provides a complex set of gratifications for a multitude of women in our society and claimed that romance responds to the conflicting demands of desire and authority in its mix of social conservatism and social aggression. That it creates a structure where readers can identify with the heroine, experience her emotions (emotions that might be negatively sanctioned) or the play out tabooed rules. In short, the reader can enjoy the vicarious experience of the forbidden.

Later in the book Cohn says that publishers of romance have found sexuality to be not only a popular but a profitable subject. They have taken what popular literature for women at one time treated in an artfully coded system of evasions and allusions and have turned it into the essential material of the literature. Sexuality, she wrote, has become the discourse of popular romance.

She goes on to write that sexuality is "the stuff out of which the story is made," and that if you eliminate the sexual material, the story line that remains is rudimentary.

Interestingly, during the 80's Harlequin romances came under attack by many. In one such attack ("Soft-Porn Culture," The New Republic [30 August 1980];25-29) they were labeled as "soft porn" and called an example of mass culture specializing in dominance, games and fantasies. The author of this article, Ann Douglas stated that Harlequin novels were "porn softened to fit the needs of the female emotionality."

In 1983 Ann Barr Snitow wrote the Harlequin romances were indeed pornographic but that they had developed a type of pornography that was keyed to the needs of women living in late capitalism and they appealed to an infantile narcissism. ("Mass Market Romance Pornography for Women is Different",Powers of Desire,ed. Ann Barr Snitow, Christine Stansell, and Sharon Thompson [New York: New Feminist Library, Monthly Review Press, 1982, pp 345-63)

When I think about it I can't help but laugh. It's all too familiar. Since the birth of erotic romance as a sub-genre of romance, its writers have come under attack by members of the "mother" of their genre, romance itself. How it is that a parent who has suffered the stings and arrows of such prejudice as what I mentioned above, can now turn to its offspring and accuse it of being it pornographic or cast a negative light on it.

Why are we not collectively reminding those who would snub their nose at the genre of Romance at large, that while we may be writing stories that appeal to the sexual nature of women, we're still crafting stories. Stories with plot and character development, stories with danger or intrigue, joy and grief and humor.

We're not just writing sex people. Let's face it, that would be B O R I N G. Women want tales with some meat (no pun intended). Tales that stir their senses on a variety of levels. We want to be frightened, puzzled, intrigued, tempted, seduced, bewitched and bemused.

When I first heard that we erotic romance writers were being condemned for what we write by some in our parent genre, it made me stop and take a close look at my own books. Do I craft tales that depend upon sex to carry the story, or is sex simply part of the natural course of the tale, something that enables readers to get a more intimate look at what's going on in the hearts and minds of the characters?

Naturally, I'd like to think so. But an artist is never the best judge of his own work. So I went back through reviews. Was sex mentioned more than the plot or the characters? Thankfully no.

Truthfully, I don't think readers would put up with "Sex for the sake of sex alone." Readers are far more intelligent and demanding than that. They want a story that pulls them in, takes them on a ride and pays off with an ending that either satisfies, shocks or astounds them.

But that's my opinion and hey, everyone has one. There are two things I'd really like:

(1) To say to anyone in the romance industry who has a bad taste in their mouth when it comes to erotic romance... Please remember that writing is an artistic expression. And art comes in a wide array of color, shape, form and material. Why would any artist want to deny another the freedom of artistic expression? What makes the writers of any genre superior to another? Are we all not just artists, painting our visions in words rather than paint? Isn't there room for all of us? Certainly other genres have found their homes and readers. Science fiction and mystery and fantasy all have their place in the market.

And so does erotic romance. It's found a loyal following, as did romance, despite the negative light it was cast in at one time. There are bestselling authors who emerged from erotic romance. Jaid Black, Cheyenne McCray and Kate Douglas just to name a few. Best sellers on lists such as USA Today and the New York Times.

I'd like to propose a peace treaty. We're here and not likely to disappear. Wouldn't it be easier to be friends than enemies? You don't have to read us. Just don't throw rocks.

(2) And I'd like to hear from readers. Exactly what is it about erotic romance that appeals to you, and do you feel that writers in the genre are doing justice to the romance aspect? Do we deserve to be flogged for "leaving the bedroom door open" or applauded for progressing the genre in accord with the times and the independence and strength of today's woman?

My inquiring mind would love to hear your thoughts.

Have a glorious Sunday!

Ci

Star Crossed Lovers?

Yes, we all know that theme. Lovers whose relationship is doomed to fail. Why star crossed? Because those who came up with the term believe that the stars control human destiny.

And yes, the most famous example of this theme is Romeo and Juliet.

The tale of the star crossed lovers has been done and redone - and redone - and redone. And when this topic came up for discussion I had to ask myself why it is such a popular theme. What pleasure do we get from the tale of people who love so passionately yet are doomed to be kept apart?

Personally, I don't enjoy it. Color me a "non-tragedy" fan, and I think this theme is by and large a tragedy. I don't mind endings that have me wondering IF the couple will get together, work things out, or find each other again across the vastness of time and space. But doomed? That leaves me cold. The Universe is a place of endless possibility and I like to think that anything is possible.

Perhaps that's why I write Romantica (R). (For those of you not familiar with the term, it is a trademarked word belonging to Ellora's Cave that describes the fiction they publish - Romance with a bit of erotica, or as someone once so aptly described it, Romance that leaves the bedroom door open). Here's a genre that not only tugs the heart strings with romance that we women crave, but also panders to the more sexual aspect of our natures and lets us see behind that bedroom door.

Which brings me to a bit of a rant. What is so intolerable, so abhorrent, so sinful about what happens in the bedroom? ( or on the kitchen table as the case may be) Would any of us be here without sex? It's a biological imperative - all species procreate. People just engage in sex for pleasure and not strictly to propagate the species.

What makes us as a culture (in America) so willing to expose ourselves and our children to horrible scenes of violence and yet scared out of our knickers when it comes to sex? What makes a work of art by one of the great masters like Michelangelo that shows nudes acceptable and a photo of a woman with bare breasts unacceptable? It boggles my mind.

And makes me wonder if the real "star crossed lovers" isn't something larger than two people who are trying to overcome enormous hurdles to share their love. Maybe we in the world of Romantica are fighting that same battle. To overcome narrow minds that focus only on the erotic and forget that Romance comes first in that word. That the books are tales that employ the same themes as any other. Quest. Adventure. Pursuit. Rescue. Escape. Revenge. The Riddle. Rivalry. Underdog. Temptation. Metamorphosis. Transformation. Maturation. Love. Forbidden Love. Sacrifice. Discovery. Wretched Excess. Ascension. Descension. And that at their hearts they are romantic tales.

Romantica does not forsake the themes that have inspired our imaginations, fed our hearts, brought us laughter, longing or tears. It simply fills in the blanks of what happens after that alpha male takes the woman into his arms.

This is not to say that this genre is for everyone. It's genre fiction. Some people like it and others don't. Science fiction is a genre and I adore it, but I certainly don't think every reader has to dig it as much as I do. The same holds true for Romantica. It has it's place in the world of fiction and it's time for people to start acting like adults - adults who accept and even appreciate one another for their diversity and embrace the arts in all their forms as a creative expression.

Let's not allow this genre be the doomed star crossed lovers of fiction. It has too much to offer.

Rant over. I'm off to write :)

Ci

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Erotic Romance Is Still Romance

First, I'd like to thank the Hussies for asking me to be a guest blogger today. I'm thrilled and hope it's not a joke as it is April 1. :) Well, it would help if I introduce myself. I'm Ashley Ladd and I write erotic romance for Ellora's Cave, Total-e-Bound, and New Concepts Publishing.

Like the Hussies, I write romance and I write erotic romance. We share a publisher who has coined the term "romantica" which means the same thing.

I'm amazed how many people mistake erotic romance and romantica for erotica. Erotica is sex without romance. What I write, what the Hussies write, are definitely romances first - with a lot of hot sensual sex added in. After all, sex is an extension of romance. It's what happens after the romantic dinner and candlelight and the romance progresses to the bedroom.

Personally, I love romance. If I had to choose one over the other, romance would win hands down every time. My editors are constantly yelling their mantra at me "More Sex More Sex More Sex". Sometimes I dream about it. This morning I was awoken from a musical version of it. That was odd, even for me.

I want to give you a snippet of my just released erotic romance "Confessions of a Nympho" published by http://www.total-e-bound.com/. It's a short "Lust Bite" story.

Blurb:
In an effort to promote her books, erotic romance author Tatiana Reece decides it will increase her blog traffic if she starts a new blog in which she pretends that her personal life is as racy if not more racy than her novels. She calls it "Confessions of a Nympho" and she makes up some really hot, spicy stuff.

When tax season rolls around and she makes her annual visit to her accountant, Ace, the junior accountant handling her case—who has long been secretly in love with her—discovers her blog. Using an alias, Ace begins a torrid online affair with Tatiana that moves into a real world affair.
One problem. Ace disguises himself and when she discovers his true identity, she'll be furious.

Excerpt:
Tatiana leaned closer, licked her glossy lips, and smiled conspiratorially. “I hope you can find me a lot of big deductions this year.

Ace swallowed hard. He had something big for her all right, but it was inside his pants, swelling larger with every second. Embarrassed, he slid further under the desk to hide his source of discomfort. “We’ll see,” he said noncommittally, without any hint of emotion. “I’ll do my best.” He kicked himself for getting shy, not at all like the kick-ass romance heroes she lived for. How could he ever win a woman like her acting like this?

She dumped out the contents of both boxes onto his desk and sifted through them. “I went to several conferences this year and bought a new computer. Those hotel rooms are downright outrageous!”

Hotel rooms? He gulped. How he’d like to share a hotel room with her. He wondered if she went alone and took the receipt from her hands. When her fingers grazed his, shivers raced down his spine. Unable to stop himself, he asked, “Is this for single or double occupancy?”

She snatched the receipt from his hands, grazing his knuckles again. “Let me see. I get a roommate whenever I can, but a few times I went alone.”

His jealousy surged and he longed to ask the roommate’s name. Some of those nearly naked Tarzan-type cover models she’d had her pictures splashed with all over the romance magazines? Not that he’d ever admit to reading those or keeping track of her doings. He’d sooner cut out his tongue.

“How many? Conferences, I mean? Help me sort these into categories.” Or else they’d be there all night. On retrospect that might not be a bad idea…

She squinted at a computer printout in her hand. “What about websites? Aren’t they tax deductible?”

Loosening the tie that threatened to choke him, he nodded and tried to keep his voice steady. “Yes, of course.”

She leaned further forward and gazed deeply into his eyes. Her ample breasts strained against her t-shirt. The nipples budded against the flimsy cotton. “I mean, if I have more than one website? I just opened this new one, plus I have pages on some romance writers’ group pages.”

When he took the outstretched receipt from her outstretched fingers, her flowery writing on the back caught his eye, and he flipped it over. Reading it, his heart skipped several beats.

“Confessions of a Nympho” blog. It contained the website url, and he memorized it. Like he could forget a name like that? It was burned into his consciousness.

Confessions of a Nympho? His cock throbbed almost ripping open his zipper. His blood sizzled. He couldn’t wait to visit her blog and read her deepest, darkest fantasies. Or were they fantasies? Did she act them out? Was she really a nymphomaniac?

** Can you tell I'm into blogging lately? I'm a lot like the heroine of my book that way. In fact, I just renamed my website to "Happily Ever After" as that's what I write, happily ever afters. I also just had it redesigned. So please pop over and take a look, leave me a comment, and be entered in my monthly contest for a free ebook download from my Ashley Ladd published books. http://ashleyladd.blogspot.com/

Once again, I want to thank The Hussies for inviting me to be their guest today. You're all awesome and I enjoyed my time spent with you.

It's Your Thing, do What you Wanna do

Nat brought up an interesting concept yesterday - things that make our eyes glaze over, our better judgement fly out of the window and inspire us to make our checking accounts a little lighter.

That got me to thinking. While it's a perfect pair of shoes for our lethal Hussy Nat, for me it's ...

Oh crap! I don't have anything. I just spent twenty minutes trying to come up with something. I can't find anything. There has to be something!

I have a huge collection of discs for playing disc golf, and do tend to salivate over the latest models in the catalogs, but does that really qualify since I can drive past the store and not feel compelled to pull in?

How about gadgets? I'm something of a gadget freak. Got an office full of stuff from iPods and smart phones to remote controlled R2D2. But no, I can toss a Sharper Image catalog into the trash without suffering a pang of "oh my god I didn't order anything!"

Jewelry, clothing, shoes, make-up, hair products and accessories? Nope. Music? Maybe, I think I have a full 17 days of songs on iTunes before my library has to start over. But then again, if I don't buy music for a while I don't suffer any ill effects.

Okay, I'm starting to feel anxious. I'm not normal. I don't have a "thing"!

I ran and got honey man. "I don't have a thing!"

"Sure you do, baby. In fact you have a couple of real nice things."

Okay, not what I wanted at the moment. So I explained. I needed a thing to blog about. He didn't think long. In fact, I don't think he thought at all. He just took my hand and led me through the house, not speaking, just pointing.

At all the books.

Whew! I'm so relieved. I DO have a thing. A thing for books. Last year I donated 3000 paperbacks to the library my honey's company was starting for their employees. I gave a thousand to a senior citizen's center. But not my hardbacks. No way, baby. Those are mine. And they're in every room in my house by the hundreds. Books. Food for the soul. Entertainment, inspiration, knowledge. They're worlds unto themselves and over the last five years I've spent enough on them that I could be going out today and buying that nice little hybrid car that caught my eye.

But would that car transport me to another galaxy or dimension? Would it teach me about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle or what an aphelion is? Could it make me cry or laugh or inspire indignation or desire?

No. No no no. It could not. But my books can.

So, this Hussy is happy to say that I am NOT completely abnormal. I DO have a thing.

This is Ciana for the Hussies. Until next time ... do your thing AND remember to let your inner hussy out to play. I bet she has a 'thing' or two!

End of the Earth?

Well, I guess if your sweetie says he will walk to the end of the earth for you it could be a very short trip. And if he continues on to Houghton, then I guess he will be trying to give you the moon or at least taking that first baby step into outer space.(vbg)

Sally:)

Divided Love Cover!!!

It's true, I got it late Wednesday. It's incredible. It is elegant. It is perfect!

Syn, you outdid yourself on ths one. Exactly how Reci looks! Thank you!

The Hussies™ SERIES IS A GO!!!

Ciana and I are flying high, hussies! EC notified us that our proposed erotic romance series, THE HUSSIES™ is a BIG BIG GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't forget to enter Ci's and my contest WANNA BE A HUSSY! Details are on this blog.

The first Hussy Name will be drawn June 30th.

See ya!
Sally:) one happy hussy!