Sunday, June 29, 2008

Boy Toys .... not for everyone

First, let me preface this post by saying that like millions of women, I'm categorized in the "older woman" genre, so this is in no way a slam to any of my sisters.

The last decade we've seen a rise in the "older woman/younger man" pairings. Hey, if it works for you, go for it. But recently I read something that pushed things beyond tasteful in my opinion and gave the older women/younger man situation a rather seedy tone.

I'm referring to an article that was titled "For the Woman who has Everything: A Boy Toy"

Some enterprising entrepreneur in New York decided to organize a speed-dating event to bring together 20 "sugar mamas" and 20 "boy toys". For a woman to qualify she had to be over 35, earn more than 500k a year or have a minumum of $4 million in liquid assets, entrusted assest or divorse settlement.

Jeremy Abelson, the promoter, uses the older man/younger woman scenario as his justification for the event, saying that for centuries it's been allowable for ugly old rich men to attact young beautiful (money-hungry) women. And now it's the woman's turn.

Let me pause here to say ... that offends me. Maybe we women are a step above that sort of mentality. Maybe we don't want to have to "buy" the affections of a man. Personally, the last thing I want a man attracted to is my bank account. This ol' gal isn't getting off with that idea being up front and center. Might as well invest in a new sex toy. At least you don't have to worry about what it's thinking as it gets you off.

But back to this... event.

It was set in a club in Manhattan and attracted more than just wealthy divorcees. One woman, the owner of a marketing firm and a also a theatre producer in London and New York was quote as saying "Is this really what I'm looking for? No. Is it an option? Why not?"

Well, I can think of a couple of reasons right off the bat:

(1) Paying for sex is paying for sex any way you color it.
(2) Can a woman really feel good about herself knowing that it's not her the man is making love to (use that phrase to avoid certain F words) but her money?

I'm not convinced. Sure Ashton and Demi made it work. But that's love. Not buying a boy toy. And just that phrase makes me gnash my teeth. How many centuries have women been complaining about being objectified, being treated like a piece of meat, just an orifice for men to use to get off? Is it really a sign of progress and independence for us to stoop to that same level? I sure hope not.

And boy toy? Ugh! Men are a lot of fabulous things, but toys? I think not. Toys are purchased discretely online and come in unmarked packages. Men are those wonderfully different beings that we try to delve into their psyches, find their "buttons", swoon over when they show up in a tuxedo, cry over when they are heros who fall, poke fun at for being from "Mars" as opposed to our home world of "Venus", and who make us feel ever so good when they give us the look that says "baby you're looking good." But toy? Ugh.

Again that's just my take on things. If you've got the bucks to back it up and it floats your boat then go for it. Have your boy toy. Enjoy

Personally every time I even entertain the idea for a book, try to cook up a scenario, I end up with something like this...

Okay, no way I want to be the woman some young stud is having a case of the shuddering creeping willies over. Sorry. That is NOT what this gal's ego needs. Give me a "seasoned" guy any day of the week, someone who's had years to figure his way around the female form and is willing to take the time to figure out what makes my clock tick. If I want the energizer bunny that keeps going and going and going ... well, I'll buy D-Cells.

Feel free to disagree. Like I said, it's just my opinion.

Happy Sunday!


Minime said...

Makes sense. But then again, society has a lot of nicknames and stereotypes for things that are different.

Robbing the craddle (even if both parties are way above the legal age) when there is a huge age difference.

Midlife crisis = older man wanting to be with a woman half his age.

Cougar with a boy toy = Rich (or not) woman with a much younger man.

I call my hubby my boy toy though. But it's true. He's a boy and I like to play with him, hence he is a toy. *smile* But I don't have the dough and he is older than me, so I am not a cougar (or whatever you want to call it) with a boy toy. hehe.

Ciana Stone said...

Well hey, playing is good:)And I'm sure he appreciates being your boy toy!! My honey is flattered if I call him that.


Tarot By Arwen said...

I hate hate hate hate the term "cougar". One of my co-workers jokingly called me that and I nearly ripped his throat out.

Wait, maybe I'm a different kind of cougar?

Anyway, I agree with you. Still my writing partner is on the other side of this fence. It's one area we are really struggling because she has some fabulous story ideas and I just can't wrap my head around why anyone would want to do that. sigh. And the dating thing you talked about? Um, how about if we just get an ear tag gun and tag the rich ones. That way they can be found more easily.

EYE ROLL Rant on, woman. Rant on.

Ciana Stone said...

Ear tag!! ROFLAMO!!! Thanks Arwen, that was perfect:)

I know what you mean with having difficulty with the idea. I've considered and discarded it several times. Just can't get an excitement churning.

Katie Reus said...

I've got to agree. I think that event was just plain tacky. And I think it would have been just as tacky if the roles were reversed. I don't think there's anything wrong w/ an older woman and a younger man dating, but buying a younger man's affections isn't hot, it's gross.

Ciana Stone said...

Couldn't agree more Katie:)