Wednesday, August 27, 2008

How To Spot A Player

If you've ever dated then you've likely ran into some players. But how can you tell if he's genuine or just out for fun and games?

According to The Online Slang Dictionary a player, often pronounced playa, is "Someone who dates more than one person at a time, usually just for sex or other perks. Will typically do anything to have sex with someone. Carries a heavy negative connotation. Usually used to describe males, but could be used to describe females who act in this manner."

First and foremost a guy who is genuinely interested in you will treat you with the respect and consideration you deserve, and he's going to put you first. A player may seem to have all the right moves but only does what keeps him on top of the game.

Players never call when they say they will and have a million justifications for why they didn't. They are consistently late or cancel at the last minute. They never make plans in advance. And there are often long intervals between the occasions they do contact you.

If everything else in his life comes before you then most likely you're being played. When you're together, you never have his full attention, especially when out in public. He's constantly scanning the room.

He has no desire to hear about what interests you or in meeting the important people in your life. He doesn't invite you to his house or introduce you to his friends and family because you're his dirty little secret.

He does not waste his time trying to learn when your birthday is or what activities you enjoy because he doesn't plan on being around long enough for it to matter.

Instead of calling you by your name or a pet name that has significance to both of you he'll use common endearments so that he doesn't slip up. That doesn't mean every guy who calls you sweetheart isn't genuine, but if he rarely uses your name its a good indicator of a problem.

He also has no time for traditional dating or wooing, instead gets very intense, very quickly. He's rushing you for sex. Should you ask him to slow down, he'll break records in the fifty-yard dash in the opposite direction.

Even if you date him for a while you'll only ever get his cell phone number or pager. He's not about to have you calling him at home or work.

Listen to your gut instincts. Once you start questioning whether he's playing you or not the most probably answer is yes.


Reba said...

I remember when I was in the dating game...guys who were playa's were the shit..LOL You knew if a guy was a playa because he sometimes let you know up was okay for a guy to be a playa but let a gal do the same and she was a slut, a whore...

The playa's always came to the club dressed a certain way..more off then on.

Why are woman more attracted to the playa, the bad boy? then the guy with the tie on?

Great topic Nic..takes me back to in time

TK Winters said...

Wow! Wish I'd read this when I was 17... LOL Of course, we didn't really have "playas" then. I'm sure we did, but that isn't what we called them.

Great topic, sis!

N.J.Walters said...

I think most women have run across guys like this. Unfortunately, you didn't always know what they were until it was too late. (At least not back when I was dating.)

I've often told my husband that I'm glad I don't have to worry about dating in this day and age. It's too hard!