Sunday, September 23, 2007

She Said, He Said - Cowboy style

Howdy! And welcome to this week's She Said, He Said, The Hussies and the Hunk answer all your questions about love, romance and sex.

Our resident hunk is on holiday this week, so we enlisted the help of someone familiar to all our Hussy sisters, our good buddy Chase.

For those of you who don't know Chase, he's been making hearts flutter and libedos race for some time on our chats. One of the original Naughty Men, Chase graciously agreed to fill in (well, after I roped him up and tied him down). And since he's a real team player, this week Sally and I are double teaming him. Consider it a test by fire, Chase.

This week our question comes from way up north in Chicago where Exit Only asks:

Hi. I'm a thirty-smething divorcee who has been involved with a nice man for six months. Up until recently our sex has been pretty traditional. Nothing kinky or strange, which suits me since I'm not the most adventurous person. But last weekend we got a little drunk and I dropped my glass on the floor. When I got down to clean up the mess, my boyfriend got all hot and bothered and pulled my panties down. At first I thought it was fun, his hands all over me, getting me hot. But then he asked if we could have anal sex and I completely froze. Call me old fashioned but I never let my ex-husband do that and don't know that I can let my boyfriend. Is something wrong with me or him? What is it about the ass that gets mens motors running anyway?

Ciana: Well cut me off and call me shorty, I'm a bit hesitant to tackle this particular question. Anal sex is one of those activities that falls under the "optional" category. If you're into it, groovy. If you're not, then paint exit only on your butt and just tell your fella that the rear entry stays locked. However, if you've never tried, how do you know you won't like it? I'm not advocating that you do something that you don't want to do, just asking.

As to why it gets a man's motor running, I think I'll turn that particular aspect over to Chase. Chase?

Chase: Well... well first of all, throw me to the wolves Ci. You couldn't have started me off with something a little easier? Okay, here goes. The ass. Yeah, we like it. Everything about it. It's round and full and squeezable and the cleft that divides it ultimately leads to heaven. At least for a man. And I guess anal sex is a little of the forbidden fruit. When a woman surrenders that part of herself to you, it makes you feel like you're not just some run of the mill Joe, that you're someone special.

Now as to you not wanting to explore that particular activity, darlin' that's entirely up to you. If the idea turns you on, then maybe start with something a bit milder than actual sex. You'd be surprised what a man can do with his hands. But if it gives you as Ci likes to say, the creeping willies, then just be honest. We fellas do appreciate honesty. Well, most of the time. Just as long as you keep saying "oh baby, you're the best."

And that's it from me. Turning it over to Ms. Sally. And by the way Sally, I like that blue dress with the low neckline. Very stimulating. Just a compliment Mr. Sally. No need to send a posse after me.

Sally: Of course, here I am bringing up the rear. First of all, thank you, cowboy, for the compliment. You must have eagle eyes. (g) As for our poor in-arears gal. Listen, hussy, there are three things in life that are certain, death, taxes and men wanting to explore your back door. It's only sex, you know and guys are just as adventurous in that corral as anything else, otherwise they'd still be sitting in caves clicking flint rocks together.

Your lover’s request falls under the heading of trust and curiosity on your part. If you don't want to even entertain the idea, that's fine, but don't you think you owe your relationship at least a discussion, not during sex, but some other time, like watching TV or taking a walk.

Don’t just make a snap decision based on fear and ignorance---get educated. There’s plenty of info out there by women who are just as daring as your manlove. So go into the discussion knowing your topic or better yet, surf together and share reading about it with your man. That could be very exciting for both of you. Maybe it's a first time for him. Did you even ask?

Whatever you decide, at least you’ve shown him you're willing to contemplate new ideas and are open to possibilities. After all, it’s a relationship. Right? And we do want to be considerate lovers.

Besides, you might discover women who’ve found it an erotic pleasure zone instead of just a service entrance for your man.

I’m all for doing only what you want and feel comfy doing in a relationship, but I also believe most people make decisions from a place of fear. If you can abandon fear and have an open mind, you might find a new aspect in your relationship and watch it grow even stronger.

As Chase said, it’s an act that makes a man feel special. Remember the cave? Well, in some ways we haven’t evolved that far from it.


Julianne said...

Ci, Sally and Chase, all gave great advise. And it certainly is nice to have a man's point of view of this type of sex. I suggest doing some research together, communicating and then deciding. If the answer is yes, maybe start out small and slow and work up to bigger. Who knows, it could possibly be something that is very enjoyabe in your relationship.

Mary Winter said...

Great advice ladies, and gent! *wink* And if it turns out that anal sex doesn't turn you on, well perhaps your research (alone or together) will bring you to something else that does. :)