Sunday, September 09, 2007

She Said, He Said

We received the following from Single and Scared in NY:

I am a thirty-eight year old woman who is newly divorced and I'm scared to death about the dating scene. I had three dates with a guy and on the third date he wanted to have sex. I thought I was ready, but when he asked me to strip for him I froze up. I don't exactly have the body of a twenty year old, so why would anyone want to see me undress?

Scott's Answer: If he wanted you to strip its because you turn him on. You might not have the body of a 20-year old, but the one you have is yours, nobody else has it, its an original and maybe that is what turns him on about you. Men are much more visual than women. It turns us on incredibly to watch you undress, shower, get dressed, wear different items. I am sure he does not have the body of a 20-year old either. However, it is a bit awkward to perform in front of someone, I know being a shy person. But I guarantee you, if he asked you to strip, no matter what you do or how you look, it will turn him on. Just for kicks, ask him to do the same for you and see what happens.

Sally's Answer: Froze? Snort. Hell, hussy, I would have left!

If you had a relationship with this guy, sure, I'd agree with Scott--- but stripping is an intimate act that requires a lot of trust between lovers so how can you have that after only 3 dates?

PHEW. That is probably the tackiest first time making love technique I've ever heard of. And any guy making such a request first time is definitely deficient in sensitivity and clearly doesn't have any genuine feelings for you to place you in such an awkward position. What about a little tenderness, caring and compassion from him? A bit of wooing... It shouldn't be about what you can do for him, grilfriend. He should be on his best behavior to please you not making stupid demands for you to strip!

I mean, what kind of guy would ask that of a woman the first time making love to her?

Wait, I know the answer.

The kind used to paying for it! Seriously, hussy, wake up! You don't want to be just one less piece he has to pay for, do you?

I can see it's time for a Hussy Prayer Meeting.

Look, just because you've been out of the game for a while doesn't mean you have to play by any guy's rules. That part hasn't changed since before you were married and certainly hasn't now that you are divorced. You are the one in control, Hussy babe. Seize that control with a bit of self R-E-S-P-E-C-T and toss this BIG LOOSER out on his arse, making sure the door hits him on the way out, cause that's where his pea-brain resides. What a jerk!

You deserve a genuine caring guy. Do NOT settle for a creep like this. Find a guy who really cares about you as a person and then when you develop a loving/caring relationship with him, strip your hussy heart out. It will be fun then!

If you'd like to ask a question of the Hunk and the Hussies, email us at If you'd like to email Scott, you can reach him via

Have a great Sunday and a fun week!



Ciana Stone said...


Seriously, I could see both sides of this question (or should I have said both sexes?)

Obviously Sally, I'm with you. I would have done an "old time" move - namely the Nancy Sinatra ... "these boots are made for walking ..." or turned it around... "You first baby."

I get the feeling Scott was approaching it from the position of a man who would probably not ask something like that unless he was emotionally involved with the woman. Kinda read that way and knowing Scott I would guess that was where he was coming from.

However (snort) good ol'buddy Chase read it and said "Well hell, Ci, what's wrong with asking a sexy gal to strip for you? I mean it's a compliment if a gal turns us on that much."

Hmmm, obviously a gender thing going on here. But sooooo interesting. I totally dig it!!

stephanieb said...

Great advice guys!! Both sides were great....and you just gotta love that Chase!!

Sally Painter said...

I agree Scott was being sensitive and like I said, was this a real relationship and not just a 3rd date first time situation would have agreed.

Chase is, as we all know, just a bad boy, which is why everyone adores him. He can't help himself. (g)

Sally Painter said...

Thx, Stephanie,

Chase - do a lexigram for him and you'll see what I mean. Oh that achy breaky heart of a cowboy.

Dani said...

This was good. I liked reading both sides and I can see both side too, but I have to agree with Sally. Stripping on the third date is a little forward even in these modern times.

Okay, I'm starting to sound like my Gran here and I'm only 32. Geesh!! :)

Julianne said...

As I was reading Scott's answer, I was totally agreeing with what he was saying. Maybe this guy was finding her incredibly sexy, but was a little tacky with words. But also maybe he's a little on the dominant side too. Maybe he should have asked her to just do a sexy little dance for him. Sally's answer really had me thinking. I don't know that I would have left, but might have tried to turn the tables and asked him to do the same thing. Maybe this was just going to be sex.
OMG!!! I can certainly see why Chase is such a bad boy!!
Once again, we have two different perspectives and I think the insight is fantabulous.