Monday, December 03, 2007

For Hussies in the Snow Belt...



It's here. Winter, that is. And along with it, that first snowstorm, which is bad enough. When it happens on a Monday? Look out. Here's a few tips for surviving Mondays when you're up to your butt in the white stuff...


Ditch the designer boots. They're cute as hell, cost a fortune and they're going to die at the first sign of anything cold and wet. Sorry - this is a time for thick ugly clumpy footwear unless you go from a dry garage to another dry garage. (Lucky you.)


Don't shovel. Get someone else to do it for you. Stick ten dollars in your pocket, throw on some makeup and stand on your front doorstep looking adorably helpless. The ten bucks is for the first kid who goes past and catches your eye.


If you have to shovel, remember not to shovel into the wind. Blowback's a bitch and - if it's really windy - it hurts!


Use moisturizer - lavishly. This isn't a time for a delicate touch - this is a time to yank out the facial equivalent of WD-40 lubricant and smear it thickly over your face. Winter air can be even more damaging than the summer sun - especially when sunshine is reflected off that white stuff. (Goes double for you skiers!!!)


You've listened to the weather reports, so you have bread, milk and toilet paper. Hopefully you also got something useful like a book, chocolates and plenty of cocoa. Remember that snow turns ordinary drivers into Nascar finalists and there's likely to be "trouble in turn two" - which is in front of your house this morning not in Daytona. Be PATIENT when you're behind the wheel! It'll all melt in the spring!


If none of these things work, consider becoming a "snow bird" and heading south to warmer climes. Just remember there's always someone worse off...as this video demonstrates quite clearly!!! Stay warm and keep smiling....



5 comments:

NathalieGray said...

NOOOOOO!!!!! That poor man!! :))

I miss home. There is no snow here in Northern Germany. None. Hey, I hear you folks who are stuck in it yelling "I WISH!". But I'm Canadian...I NEED the white stuff. It's not Christmas without the white stuff!

N.J.Walters said...

Ugly boots...check. Don't shovel...I live in an apartment building...check. Mositurizer...check. Toilet paper, milk and bread...check. Book...check.

Winter is here! We had snow, freezing rain and 75mph winds last night. We lost power, but it came back on overnight.

I'm off to the mall today because we have another system moving in tomorrow and I need candles, batteries and chocolate. Okay, and maybe another book. *g*

Great tips, Sahara!

Sally Painter said...

I love it, Fashion Snow Bunny! You are so funny, Sahara.

The vid was a hoot... poor guy!

Dani said...

I would have died if that had been me, but I live where the weather is tropical and the sun is shining, so I'll never know what that's like. I feel sorry for you all in the snow and I'm totally jealous at the same time. I for once want to be in snow up to my butt and have a great time...Just once. Oh well, maybe someday.

Sahara, you can send me some of the white stuff anytime! :)

Nicole Austin said...

Burr! Wintertimes makes me glad to be living in Florida, although I do miss playing in the snow on Christmas. Oh, and changes of season--miss those too.