Saturday, December 29, 2007

Spank that Alpha Geek!

We sometimes laugh at them. We sometimes wish they'd just lose the khaki pants and light blue shirt and get themselves some wicked pair of Diesel jeans and urban warfare shoes to match. We *see* the potential for hotness in these beta males. Didn't we all shake our heads at the show "Beauty and the Geek" and think, damn, that one geek over there only needed a haircut and some clothes and BOOM, instant hunk. Yes, ladies, we're talking about what some call losers, geeks, nerds, beta (or even omega) males, too-nice-for-his-own-good, the splinter group gifted with stealth charisma (yeah, baby, turn this one over and chuckle), and a massive, er, imagination. Me, I like to call them Alpha Geeks. Because they are both.

I love me some geekiness in a man. Yes, sure, muscles are nice and firm and oh-so shiny. But you know what, it's not that important in bed or in life. Not that exterior beauty (whatever it is) means something is lacking inside. We're talking stereotypes and generalities here. As much as I enjoy watching a gorgeous man or a master's grand tableau for the sheer perfection of lines, you can bet your last teabag that it's the Alpha Geek whom I'll take home to spank his bum with the computer mouse wire! And I suspect most women have a penchant for the Alpha Geek as well. So what do guys think about this? Want to hear about a man's view of the Alpha Geek? Read that excerpt from Christopher Moore, author extraordinaire and Pepsi-out-the-nose funny:

"While Alpha males are often gifted with superior
physical attributes -- size, strength, speed, and good looks -- selected over
the eons by the strongest surviving and, essentially, getting all the girls, the
Beta Male gene has survived not by meeting and overcoming adversity, but by
anticipating and avoiding it. That is, when the alpha males were out charging
after mastodons, the beta males could imagine in advance that attacking what was
essentially an angry, wooly bulldozer with a pointy stick, might be a losing
proposition, so he hung back at camp to console the grieving widows whose
Alpha-male mates had been stomped into mastodon moss. When alpha males set out
to conquer neighboring tribes, to count coup and take heads, beta males could
see in advance that in the event of a victory, the influx of female slaves was
going to leave a surplus of mateless women cast out for younger trophy models,
with nothing to do but salt down the heads and file the uncounted coups, and
many would need find solace in the arms of any beta male smart enough to
survive." (

Yes, I know, it's firing stereotypes in all directions. But, damn, isn't it the funniest thing you've ever read?

Keeping in mind we're talking generalities and that beauty doesn't necessarily equate or negate brains, which one would you take home for some one-on-one with the spanky end of the whip? The Alpha Male or the Alpha Geek? (and yes, you naughty hussy, you have to choose only ONE)


Ciana Stone said...

Verrrrrrrrrry interesting.

I'll stick my neck out and be the first to answer the challenge. I'd take the Alpha Male. However, having said that, I'm going to cite the criteria for my selection process.

First, it's predominantly in Western culture that the term Alpha Male refers to the "muscular hunk". Biologically, for most animal species, it refers to the male with the greatest physical prowess, but also the most cunning.

In stricter terms worldwise and historically, a male achieves "alpha" status not only by means of superior physical prowess but in the most highly developed social species (like human and bonobo), by more indirect (and smarter) methods, like using political alliances to oust the ruling male and take his place.

And thus alpha gray matter and alpha strength to merge the alpha male/geek into one neat package for me that for simplicity's sake, I call the Alpha Male.

So, bottom line - I want itall rolled up into one neat package with enough brains and brawn to stimulate my mind and body.

Cathy said...

I am going with the Alpha Geek. Lots of amazing layers to these hotties and hidden depths to uncover. Their strengths aren't always in your face, and it takes time and patience to learn about all those yummy alpha qualities.

Nicole Austin said...

I'm with, Ci! Give me the alphaness along with some brains in one delightful package. :D