Thursday, December 20, 2007

Gettin' Naughty - Faking it

Have you ever faked it? Many women have for various reasons. According to some articles I’ve read as many as 60 to 70% of women admit to having faked orgasm at least once in their lives.

Orgasm or climax is considered the goal and conclusion to a sexual encounter. The release is characterized by intense physical pleasure, accompanied by pelvic muscle contraction, and followed by feelings of satiation, contentment and lethargy.

Orgasm also has many variances and classifications. They can be multiple, spontaneous or simultaneous. They can also be focused on specific anatomy—vaginal, anal, G-spot, P-spot, breast or whole body.
Reasons we fake it
• To keep a partner from feeling inadequate
• Lacking confidence to express sexual needs
• Growing tired and wishing to bring the session to an end
• To encourage a partner to take their pleasure

Remember that great scene from When Harry Met Sally...

Can guys fake it? The answer may surprise you, but yes, they can! While it may not be as easy for a man to fake climax, especially during oral sex or masturbation, it is still possible if condoms are used. Unless the partner removes the condom for him, who’s to know? And some men have learned to climax without ejaculation, making it possible to achieve multiple orgasms.

Male fake orgasm...

Of course, I have to bring up the negative aspect and talk about the dishonesty. What effect does it have on the relationship if faking is an ongoing event? Does that little white lie cause more harm than you think? If he suspects you are faking it, his confidence and interest in sex will decline. What if he discovers you’ve been faking it? He may never trust you again. And finding out you haven’t been getting as much as he thought out of sex may make him feel worse about himself. He may also be hurt more to know you didn’t trust him with the truth.

The primary issue here is communication. The degree to which you feel comfortable communicating with your partner is one of the truest barometers for a relationship. By lying during sex, you are closing down channels of communication and possibly damaging the emotional connection. Consider the potential to improve your bond by using this as an opportunity for open communication about your sex life. And imagine how much better your sex life could be if you discuss what each of you like/dislike. Confide in your partner, encourage discussion, and you are nourishing the essential ingredients for a healthy, lasting relationship—communication, honesty and trust.

Remember it’s not necessary to climax every time depending on what you want to achieve from the session. Sex feels good whether you reach orgasm or not. It is the most intimate and loving act we can share with another. Some people enjoy the closeness and connection with their partner, and those feelings can be what makes the experience special, not reaching orgasm. Imagine taking the pressure and stress to perform out of sex, having no expectations, and just enjoying the intimacy, reveling in the sensations, feeling loved and appreciated.


Emma Petersen said...

Roflmao! Hehe! The dogs starting barking! I loved the second vid. As for faking it, never have, never will. I know a lot of people may disagree with me but there's only one reason to have sex to me and since I'm allergic to children it's not procreation.

Nicole Austin said...

Yeah, I don't see much point in faking it either, Emma. I got the baby factory shutdown years ago, so sex isn't about procreation for me either. :D

Sally Painter said...

Well, I've never had to fake it, but then my philosophy is women are responsibile for our own orgasms. If a woman isn't getting there, then she's not communicating her needs adequately to her partner.

Not all men are adept lovers they have to learn the woman's body. We have so many hot buttons and not all of us are all wired the same.

So the motto is: "Don't fake, communicate!" (g)

Ciana Stone said...

Fake it? I'm just not a good enough actress. If I've got to fake it then honey man is NOT doing something right :) Maybe he needs to read some books by the Hussies (hehehe)

I got a huge laugh out of the videos :)

TK Winters said...

Loved the videos, Nic! Okay yes, maybe all these other women knew something I didn't and...I faked it most of my life. Heaven forbid I should shatter the fragile male ego. lol

Fortunately, I don't do that no more!

Nicole Austin said...

I'm glad you don't have to fake it anymore, TK! I do admit to having faked it when I was young and had young partners, neither of us with any skill.