Thursday, May 29, 2008

Gettin' Naughty - Not Gonna Write You A Love Letter

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love the to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach…
(Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

Oh Puhlease! Let’s face it. If you got a wordy love letter like that you’d be rolling on the floor laughing.

Love letters are so not my style! Sure, I did write a few in the past, but grand, flowery declarations are just not me. Does anyone even write letters anymore? With all the wonderful means of instant communication available to us today, love letters seem to be a thing of the past. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t turn down a love letter is someone wanted to send me one, but true proof of love comes from actions and how someone makes you feel.

Here’s some things to think about before penning a love letter. Most people save their love letters and read them at different times in their lives. Whatever you put on that piece of paper is how the receiver (or anyone else who gets their hands on it) is going to remember you. Be careful of promises and professions. If you have the horrible handwriting of a doctor, consider typing the letter. This gives you the added bonus of being able to use spell checker. Don’t scratch things out or deliver an otherwise sloppy letter. And give a great deal of thought to what you’re saying, both literally as well as what could possibly be misconstrued between the lines. Remember that a declaration of love in writing can be preserved for a long time.

IMHO, it’s the little things that tug at the heart strings more than a gushy letter. An ex-boyfriend of mine knew what he was doing. He worked as a property appraiser. This meant he was constantly driving all over town and taking lots of pictures. He would stop by the building where I worked and leave me little notes in those old black 35mm film canisters with the gray lids. I’d leave work and find them tucked under the windshield wiper on my car. Inside would be a small scrap of paper with a hand-written note telling me he was thinking about me and couldn’t wait to see me. I loved getting those notes! Hmm…why did I get rid of him? Oh yeah, now I remember. Um…never mind. LOL!

The point is that there are millions of ways to express your feelings through actions, which do tend to speak louder than words. I mean really, what are you going to put more stock in, a love letter telling you what your SO thinks you want to hear or a sweet and simple unexpected reminder through actions?

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's
Make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today
(Sara Bareilles)


Candy said...

Great blog topic Nic. When I was married, hundred years ago, (LOL) my then husband and I would leave little notes around the house or our cars for each other. Just simple notes, saying we loved each other or that we missed one another.

Sometimes when he would go out of town I would put a greeting card for lovers in his suitcase and also a note in his pants pocket.
It's those kinds of things that help keep the flame burning in a relationship. Even a message written on the bathroom mirror that appears when your special someone takes a steamy shower will help keep the romance blooming.

N.J.Walters said...

Little notes, cards and letters are very special. But ultimately, it's someone's actions, day in and day out, which show how they really feel about you.

TK Winters said...

I agree about the little things. Sometimes the best "love letter" I get is finding the trash has been taken out or coming in and the dishes are done.

Nevertheless (don't you love that word), some of us do still write real letters. Perhaps its an age thing. I agree it is something you need to sit down and do with thought because people save it. Often love letters have more of a point than gush. For instance, one anniversary I wrote one to my ex entitled "The Man I Love To Hate". It was a love letter, really! Would I lie to you? It was an honest love letter.

I save my love letters for birthdays and anniversaries. The days when I sit down, stop and remember all the days that have passed with my lover.

Every day I make sure to say all those things in person through my words, my actions, my kisses, washing the dishes, taking out the trash .... LOL

Ciana Stone said...

Again, I'm dismally inadequate in the love letter department, so I don't write. Instead I try to "do". Lots of hugs and kisses, listening to what my man has to say and doing little things that lighten his load.

My favorite expressions of love are the things I don't do to make him happy. Like:

1. Mowing the yard (apparently I don't go in the right direction).

2. Cook meat (it all comes out like jerky when I do the cooking)

3. Iron his shirts (burn marks and odd creases are apparently not the sign of a good ironer)

4. Bake (screw timers, I still burn the bread)

5. Cut any piece of wood unless it's on a table saw (straight lines R'Not'Me)

6. Fix coffee (I make it too strong)

I WILL put sticky notes on the steering wheel of his car or in the notes of a speech he has to give that say "I DO". But that's about as far as the written word goes. Besides, he's a man who believes less words mean more.

Lucky me :)