Sunday, May 06, 2007

Hunk Hunting 101: Binoculars

I've just got home from the football. I'm still trying to stuff my tongue back inside my mouth. If you want to see why, just click here. Put the coffee down first.

You see?

Oh, all right, here's another one.

Bear with me now, hussies. Just a bit of necessary background before we get to the good bit (ie the hunks!). There are five codes of football played in Australia - soccer, Rugby League, Rugby Union, American Football and Aussie Rules (AFL). We have season tickets for the AFL and every week I wear my team scarf, take the binoculars and prepare to scream myself hoarse.

Aussie Rules is a home-grown game, peculiar to this country. It has its origins in English public school football, with a bit of Gaelic football thrown in. It's an incredibly free-flowing game, requiring the players to leap high in the air to take the ball, to run for miles, to tackle and kick. Some players run the equivalent of a half marathon in every game.

Are you seeing where this is headed? These men are simply GORGEOUS. Athletes at the peak of their powers. And because of the nature of the game, they're tall and lean and muscular (mostly well over 6ft), not thumping great tanks. They all - and I mean ALL- have six packs like you wouldn't believe, the tightest hardest butts and fabulous legs.

I often think they're the modern equivalent of the warriors of the tribe - the most perfect physical specimens, the ones all us cave women want to father our babies. The testosterone in that stadium is choking sometimes. Talk about alpha males on the hoof!

And they wear... um, let's see... A sleeveless jersey (shows the biceps), short shorts (so they can kick properly, I guess, but hey, do I care?), socks and boots. No padding, no armour, only a mouth guard.

This guy is one of my all-time favourites. Not only does he have a sexy bod, he's got a killer smile. I go all limp and noodle-y for a smile like that. Green eyes, BTW. And he's a nice guy, a genuinely nice guy. Most of them are. They do a lot of work with kids, not only footy, but charity work. And holy moly, can he play the game!

We had an encounter once, but that's a story for another post. heh heh

Because no sacrifice is too great to make in the interests of hussie-dom. I make use of those binoculars like you wouldn't believe. (Or maybe you would?) I imprint those beautiful bodies in motion in my mind and I put them in my books in all sorts of ways so incredibly naughty, they'd probably be shocked! *snicker*



Ciana Stone said...

Oh my! Book me on the next flight to Australia!!! Denise, honey, I'l send you my rope so you can lasso one of these oh-so-fine fellows and hold him hostage until I get there!


Susan said...

My ooohhh my!! It just got 10 degrees warmer in South Carolina.(fanning myself)

Sally Painter said...

ya ya... I can't talk... or type.

N.J.Walters said...

Now I can see why the sport is so popular. *g*

JC Thomasin said...

When I went to Australia I went to a footie game with some friends, and I had trouble pulling my tongue into my head. I am forever ruined for American Rules football... this is one thing the Australians didn't get backward.