Thursday, November 08, 2007

Gettin' Naughty - Taboos

What is Taboo?

Taboo—according to—proscribed by society as improper or unacceptable. A prohibition or interdiction of anything; exclusion from use or practice. Exclusion from social relations; ostracism.

Taboo is a rather gray, blurry word, having different meanings for different people. The word taboo is often used to define sexual practices considered by society to be kinky, inappropriate or immoral. To some, their taboos are their boundaries, or the things they do not enjoy. Others define taboos to be things considered illegal.

Our taboos are often shaped by how we were first exposed to the subject in question. Was it through someone making fun of the subject in the locker room or maybe in teachings by elders that the subject was ugly, dirty or immoral? Personal sexual taboos can also be attributed to bad experiences in the past.

Our personal sexual taboos vary as much as our personalities. While some may consider anal or oral sex to be taboo, others may find those acts to be perfectly normal and pleasurable. Multiple partners, sex toys, fantasies and porn are among the sexual taboos I’ve seen listed online.

I used to consider anything outside of my own comfort zone to be taboo. Since I began reading and writing erotic romances, my list has dwindled as I’ve pushed my boundaries, both personal and as an author. Writing erotic scenes has forced me to think about my personal taboos and why they made the list. What I’ve discovered is that most of the things on my list fit into one of two categories—I’d been taught they were bad or I’d never experienced them. My new philosophy—if it feels good (and isn’t destructive or harmful to anyone) it is good.

According to a study conducted by researchers at San Diego State University, young women are tearing down sexual taboos. How? Teenagers are having more sex at a younger age and are less prudish than other generations. Feelings of sexual guilt have plummeted. The study attributes this change to the cultural/sexual revolution having altered American culture, and a shift in movies and television shows now tackling topics formerly considered taboo. Practices that used to be considered taboo are far more acceptable in today’s society.

The best way to become more open-minded and grow is to step outside of your comfort zone and give something different a try. How else can you be sure that you’re not missing out on an activity you may receive great pleasure from? Take things slow. Don’t try to throw out all your taboos at once. And don’t relegate something to a taboo after only giving it one attempt. You might not have been in the right frame of mind or have approached the activity informed and prepared. Do a bit of online research for tips and techniques.

Most important, as you play and try new things, do so safely and with a partner you trust.


TK Winters said...

Another great topic! I'm really glad the hussies discuss such mind-opening issues like taboo. I've always figured if I have an emotional outburst to something, then I need to sit down and think about what provoked it and put it to the test. Does it cause me harm in any way (physical or emotional), does it cause others harm? If not, do it!

Step outside of American society and check out taboos of other countries--many of them make you wonder "why" they are taboo. It's all in the perspective one was raised in.

Sally Painter said...

Stepping out of those comfort zones! That'll tear down preconceived ideas faster than anything. Great article, Nic!

Ciana Stone said...

Fantastic article Nic! I always look forward to what you're going to write.

And I'm with you. If it doesn't hurt anyone (particularly me since I totally do NOT like pain) then it can't be bad.

Nicole Austin said...

Thanks, y'all. I'm glad you're enjoying the posts. :D

lee said...

i think what you wrote is very true, i wish more things in life that relate to sexuality, would be alot less taboo than they are now. any how i bumpet in to this very cool web site that displays this very well about sexual fantasies, there are not enpugh women writting fantasies. i wish there were more. any way, check this out:

N.J.Walters said...

Great article, Nic.

In my opinion as long as no one gets hurt and it's between consenting adults that anything goes. While certain things might not float my boat, I'm open-minded enough to know that it will work for others.