Gettin' Naughty - What Men Want

Last week I talked about what women want and it sparked some interesting responses. Now I’m doing it again but turning the tables. What do men want in a woman? Big bleached blonde hair? Swim suit cover model thin bodies? Listen close, ladies. You just may learn something because their list is both similar and much different than ours. While we seek love and affection, they want sex and respect.

I am not numbering these because they are compiled from a variety of sources and no two sources agreed what things were most important. These fourteen things made almost every list.

Love – When you peel away all the cr… uh, I mean stuff, who doesn’t want to be loved. Everyone wants and needs to feel loved. It’s the most basic and important of human emotions, and its very important to men that they feel loved.

Sex – Yes, men want plenty of sex and think about it more often than not. Sex is a big part of a healthy relationship, and chemistry is very important. This is the number one way to show you love him. Many men equate sex with love and when you withhold sex you’re essentially saying you no longer love him. He needs that validation. Shows of affection are more for you than him. He needs the physical act to know you care.

R E S P E C T – Like women, men want to be treated with respect and know they are appreciated and valued by their partner. They don’t want to be let down, embarrassed or made to feel a fool, especially in public. Men are excessively proud and sensitive to criticism.

Beauty – A pretty face, when coupled with charm, can get away with murder. No, they don’t want Barbie and beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder. Men are visual and may go by the outer appearance first, but before long they are going to be taking a long hard look at the type of person you are because looks wear thin after a while. Still, he wants to be proud to have you on his arm when walking down the street so take care of your body and stay in the shape he adores, which may be cushy or firm depending on his tasts. Again, it’s all in the eye of the beholder.

Honest Communication – Yes, men want honesty. And they want you to be honest in asking for what you want and need. They also want you to communicate without being too critical so be straightforward and truthful.

Trust – This goes right along with honesty. When the games are played out and the booty calls over, men want someone they can confide in. Lets face it, the most successful relationships are built on trust, candor and honesty.

Confident & Self-sufficient – I’ve said this before, self-confidence is sexy. While men require being wanted and needed by their partners, they want their partner to have a separate identity. They want you to have your own friends and interests. Yes, there are exceptions to every rule.

Ambition - This goes along with confidence and draws in independence. You expect him to have drive and ambition, goals and dreams, right?! Well, he wants to see the same in you. Don’t be satisfied to let him win the world single-handedly, get out there and grab a piece of it for yourself.

Strength – Not physical brawn, but the emotional courage and strength to grow and develop on a personal level. Laugh at yourself. Learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression.

Fidelity – He doesn’t want your eyes roving any more than you want his to. Enough said.

Stroking – We’re not talking sex here, I’m talking about his ego. Praise what he does right. Treating him right means helping him to not feel inadequate. As much as you like to hear he appreciates your efforts to look good for him, he wants to hear it too. Verbal affirmations are typically reserved for women and often neglected when it comes to men. They need to hear it, see it demonstrated in your actions, and feel it.

Intelligence – We’re not just talking book smarts here, but also street smarts. He’s looking for more than a housewife and mother for the kids. He wants someone who can handle herself and who he doesn’t have to fear stepping away from. Ah, again we’re back to confidence, strength, independence—seeing how everything is tying together here?

Sense of Humor – Yup, they want this just like we do. They want you to be able to relax and laugh at that Three Stooges episode or got to see a movie you consider male humor with him. He works hard, puts up with a lot, and appreciates a woman who can put a smile on his face and make him laugh.

Real – Men don’t want fake or plastic. Not in how you act or look. They want the real you. Be yourself, not what you think he wants. Most men aren’t attracted to plastic, made-up women. They want a natural, wholesome looking woman without the pulled, unnatural looking face most plastic surgery procedures produce, breast implants or Botox that paralyzes smiles and expressions.

Just like last week, these are only some of the top things men want that I found in research. These are not my personal opinions. There are of course many more qualities that make up the complete package, and yes, men also want it all just like we do.