Saturday, April 12, 2008

Who You Looking at, Tarzan?!

This week was all about affirmation of love. What Hussies wouldn’t do for it (and what we *would* do). Love of others, love of self. It was all about luv this week with the Hussies! My sisters’ lists had me thinking about my own and I discovered that a lot of things I wouldn’t normally do, I would and had. All in the name of love. But in the spirit of making you laugh on this here blog and this first day of the weekend (thank thee celestial bodies for weekends), here’s my own list.

What I wouldn’t do for love? You have a minute, this might take a while.

I wouldn’t:

Do a Brazilian wax, unless a hot Brazilian man did it with his mouth, and even then

Lose weight, gain weight, change cup size, nose shape, length and color of hair (pubic and otherwise)

Sit through a game where the object is to hurt someone else or steal their balls *snort*

Quit/change jobs solely to make the object of my love feel better/stronger/happier/more relevant (get a shrink, goddammit!)

Wear stupid clothes and shoes, because they’re supposedly sexy. Unless and until he/she likewise wears stilettos, a half-cup bra and garter belt, I’m not coming near those hateful tools of the devil

Talk myself out of ordering a second helping of fries/ice cream/double-butter-pecan tarts because he/she may comment on my overindulgence. Like my energy in bed? That’s how I fuel, baby!

Ah, but what’s life without love, eh? For it, I would and did:

Walk in front of a running vehicle. It hurt

Smiled while vomit oozed on my hands as I held the towel while he was sick as a dog (unrelated to alcohol)

Wore a dress at our anniversary because I knew he’d been silently admiring it through the store window

Said yes when no (the truth) would’ve hurt, said no when I really wanted to yell “Hell yeah!”

Lied, cheated and beat someone up bad (not all on the same day, yo!)

Wrote all about it on a blog everyone can read, thus opening myself to public ridicule, embarrassment and/or legal actions.

Ah, l’amour!

1 comment:

Ciana Stone said...

ROFLAO on the Brazilian wax!! And what you've done for love reminds me of the country song by Sammy Kershaw and George Jones:

I've been abused and used and skinned up and bruised
And thrown from a movin' train
I've been homeless, car less, lost in the wilderness
Out in the pourin' rain
I've been a business flop spent a year on top
Of the most unwanted list
But I never bit a bullet like this....I've been tied up, fried up, chocked up and dried up
Under a lot of stress
I've been burned down, turned down, been run out of town
Up to my ears in a mess
I had a year go by with tears in my eyes
I didn't even want to exist
But I never bit a bullet like this

I've taken many a fall and I got through 'em all
But I've never been hurt this bad
And you're making plans with a brand new man
And the pain is driving me mad
I've had to bite the bullet when things got tough
But the sea of love has never been this rough
And I've never been this far from shore
I never bit a bullet like this before
I never bit a bullet like this